Brebbia Fat Bob Noce Author

 

AuthorAnother birthday present – a Brebbia Fat Bob Noce Author.

Brebbia began manufacturing pipes in 1953 in Italy and produces nearly 35,000 air cured briar pipes annually. The company was initially the result of a partnership between that of Brebbia founder Enea Buzzi and Achille Savinelli of Savinelli pipes.

Posted in Thank You for Smoking | Comments Off

Shoot Those Scumbags!

Moronic

If Indonesians run drug-rings in Australia I’m sure they’ll be punished to the fullest extent of the law, if caught.

Now two Aussies are on death-row for doing precisely that in Indonesia, as well as for attempting to smuggle heroin back into Australia, and yet, Australia’s moron-in-chief Tony Abbott is posturing (for an equally retarded audience “down under”?) throwing epic tantrums and making all kinds of threats to Indonesia, where it is estimated that as many as 50 people died each day last year from drug abuse.

Well, if you do the crime, you do the time. You pay for your crimes. No matter what country you are in, you commit a crime, you jolly well face the consequences. (In the case of Indonesia, it’s the firing squad for drug trafficking.) Drugs are worse than poison and Abbott wants those two of his country men pardoned?

The same can be said for Brazil – its president Dilma Rousseff is kicking up a big fuss over one of her lowlifes who was sentenced to death – exterminated for the good of all of humankind – for drug-related crimes in Indonesia.

Now, how about some Indonesians running some drug trafficking deals in Brazil or is the country so frigging corrupted and morally decayed that life is so cheap so drugs don’t mean shit anymore?

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off

Wise Men Bearing Gifts

CNYFishThis Chinese New Year, first came Ismail with a humongous hamper, then came Freddie with his annual catch of fish.

Read about the fish here.

And Freddie doesn’t own a fish farm.

He believes it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Every year, when the Rabbit fish is in season, and swollen with milt and roe, Fred will go to the fishery port at 4am in the morning and spend several thousand bucks buying up the entire stock, then go around the rest of the day distributing the good luck fish to his friends.

Fred walks the talk.

Great guy!

Ismail too. Hand-delivered a big hamper right into my humble abode.

Unlike those Scrooges.

Posted in Eat Drink Men Women | Comments Off

Today is 2015’s Pipe-Smoking Day

IPSD2015

From Comite International des Pipe Clubs:

Mission, Purpose and Philosophy

MISSION

We foster links across the globe in honor of friendship and to celebrate the fraternity of pipe-smokers across all borders.

PURPOSE

On the special IPSD – once a year- pipe smokers around the world will celebrate the noble art of pipe smoking by using their own piece of art, a pipe made of briar or clay.

We will put into practice old traditions of raising our pipes in toast to each other in unison and share a bowl together.

PHILOSOPHY

Today’s hectic environment almost dictates that we run on full efficiency, have total involvement in our work, our families and in every aspect of what we do to survive and achieve in a world set at high speed. With ever changing values it is the intent that The International Pipe Smoking Day will allow us to step back and appreciate our rich historical value. For pipe-smokers and pipe-smoking everywhere the day will be emblematic of our shared values, history, traditions and aspirations.

Posted in Thank You for Smoking | Comments Off

Happy Chinese New Year

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year of the Goat and I wish you and yours well!

CNY2015

Posted in Places in the Heart | Comments Off

Surprise Birthday Gift

The Cobbit Collection - Dwarf, Shire, Elf and Wizard churchwardens.

The Cobbit Collection – Dwarf, Shire, Elf and Wizard churchwardens.

An early birthday gift from Tracy and Joey that arrived yesterday; what a pleasant surprise, since my birthday is not till some days later! They’ve sent me the entire Cobbit Collection from Missouri Meerschaum Company.

Missouri Meerschaum, with its genesis in the 1800’s is the world’s foremost manufacturer of corn cob pipes, but it’s been 30 years since the company offered a churchwarden style corn cob pipe. Recently it created not one, but four, churchwardens under its Cobbit Collection.

Thanks very much Tracy and Joey – these are pipes I will treasure indeed!

Posted in Thank You for Smoking | Comments Off

It’s Valentine’s Day Again

Freedom comes at a price - 55 bucks each.

Freedom comes at a price – 55 bucks each.

A local florist – that’s her in the picture above – has imported 300 stalks of the world’s tallest roses from Ecuador.

Known as Freedom, each stalk is 1.5m (almost five feet) tall.

She is selling them at S$55/- apiece, and one customer has snapped up 100 for his wife.

If roses are a way to declare your love on Valentine’s Day, what do these up-sized versions say?

Well, I guess if money is no object, what is spending 5 or 6 thousand bucks on flowers for a woman who truly deserves to be pampered.

The Romeo who ordered the flowers said “I don’t know much about flowers so I’m leaving it to my florist. It’s like diamonds. I don’t quite understand why women like that rock either.”

Well, some men are fools for love and some are just, well, you know…

Posted in Places in the Heart | Comments Off

How Scrooges Stay Wealthy

Ebenezer Scrooge

Ebenezer Scrooge

INCIDENT ONE
Millionaire: Let’s meet for a chat.

Me: Sure, Dome at Scotts Square?

Millionaire: No, Dome at CMPB.

Me: Oh, you prefer that?

Millionaire (who drives a Porsche): Yes, free parking.

INCIDENT TWO
Billionaire: Have you made your first billion yet?

Me: You got to be kidding, but I’m willing to learn, are you willing to share with me the secrets of your success?

Billionaire: Sure, but first, let me turn off the room lights. We don’t need the lights do we? It’s perfectly fine to converse in the dark.

Me: It’s ok, forget I ask. You don’t have to tell me the secrets of your success anymore.

ALTERNATIVE (SARCASTIC) ENDING

Me: After you’ve turned off the lights, let me also take off my clothes, if you don’t mind. Wearing them creases them and taking them off means I can wear them several more times, thus delaying a trip to the dry cleaners. I’m sure that’ll resonate with you, right?

INCIDENT THREE
Multi-millionaire: Do you like to eat fish?

Me: Sure, I love fish. It’s healthy and it’s brain food.

Multi-millionaire (who owns a fish farm, among numerous other businesses): Do you like barramundi?

Me: Sure, I love barramundi! It tastes so nice, it’s often called “The Asian Sea Bass” right?

Multi-millionaire: Great, I’ll send you a link to my fish farm’s website. You can buy online.

Me (I thought that joker was going to send me free fish): Oh don’t bother. I’m suddenly reminded of barracudas. I’ve just lost my appetite for fish.

INCIDENT FOUR
Poser: Free for lunch?

Me: Sure. Thanks, but not today, have a prior appointment already unfortunately. Tomorrow?

Poser: Tomorrow cannot, my free restaurant voucher expires today.

INCIDENT FIVE
Con artist (after inviting me to a big, expensive dinner): Oh shit, I forgot my wallet.

Me: It’s ok, I’ll pay for our dinner. (No choice but to pay due to the bohpiancy of the situation. Kerna screwed!)

INCIDENT SIX
Show-off: How are things?

Me (mind-fucking him): Kinda broke. Can lend me a little to tie me over?

Show-off: I don’t believe in lending money. I rather give.

Me: Oh, that’s very kind of you. Boy, do I need a lifeline.

Show-off: But right now, I don’t feel led to give.

INCIDENT SEVEN
El Cheapo (at Starbucks): I’d like to have a tall coffee of the day please.

Barista: Sure, sir, one tall coffee of the day coming up.

El Cheapo: But please serve it in a venti-size cup and top it with hot water and milk.
(This way, he gets a latte, albeit a very watered-down version .)

Ebenezer Scrooge is alive and well. Fuck my life.

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off

RIP, Mike

Mike Ellery

Mike Ellery

I first met Mike when I was in my 20’s – I wrote scripts for him – and over the years I have continued to keep in touch with him. The last time I visited with him was in Chiang Mai in 2012.

Mike left us on February 3rd. He was 82.

I will never forget this humble man and his great sense of humor. Mike was a pioneer in broadcasting in this part of the world, having first set foot in this region in 1949. He returned to the UK in 2013.

In his later years, Mike suffered a stroke, but eventually succumbed to lymphoma.

Rest in peace, Mike.

You will be missed.

Mike with Millie Small of My Boy Lollipop fame.

Mike with Millie Small of My Boy Lollipop fame.

Posted in The Departed | Comments Off

It’s Not My Fault

FaultlessHave you met one of those “perfect” people who are never at fault? When things go wrong, it’s never them, but the fault lies in the stars, with their suppliers, with the weather, with YOU even.

They will never admit a mistake or a wrong doing, they can never bring themselves to say “sorry” and instead of fixing the problem, they are more interested in fixing the blame or explaining away everything, rationalizing, in other words.

These same people will also never admit to not knowing how to do things. When given instructions they will simply say “yes” but if they don’t know how to do certain things, they will not ask, they are too proud to admit their ignorance so they will simply not do anything. There’s always someone to blame later anyway.

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off