What’s Up with Some WhatsApp Users?

“I’ll be dead by the time you respond!”

Irritating WhatsApp habits abound: such as people blurting you a question asking how you are and then disappear for the rest of the day, not bothering to check their phone for your response. It’s almost like an obligatory pat of their dog on their way out of the house.

Or you painstakingly compose a message and WhatsApp it to someone only to have an emoji as a reply. Sometimes you receive a smiley or a thumbs up just seconds after you have WhatsApped the person, making you wonder if your message has actually been read at all.

However, that’s not the most annoying.

The most annoying are those who set their WhatsApp so that nobody can see when they were on it the last time or if they have read the messages people sent them, People who care about them don’t even know if they are dead or alive. (This way they are being selfish.)

That constitutes the most annoying of WhatsApp habits, concluded a recent poll.

My 90-year-old dad just armed himself with a smartphone a month or two ago and has learned how to use WhatsApp. By not hiding his activities, he enables me to check in on him on a daily basis to make sure that he has been active, meaning still alive. I mean, he’s 90, right? (Another positive outcome from my dad’s mastery of his smartphone is that through apps like WhatsApp, we are able to attain a level of heart-to-heart communication that we have never reached before. I believe our relationship has ascended to a new high.)

Yup, there is no need to be so secretive unless you need to hide your movements. (As if that’s even possible, nowadays.)

Even if I sleep late – for whatever reason and it’s none of your business anyway – and my “last seen” shows 3.30 am, I don’t mind others knowing it. Also, I reply to messages at a time that is convenient for me to reply. It doesn’t mean if some retard WhatsApps me at 3:30am, I will reply at 3:35am. This is not IBM, where some of the douche bags who work there time their emails to go out at USA time (meaning some unholy hours here) just to impress their masters in the US. I know because I was in that zoo for ten years.

There are times when I do not reply to WhatsApp messages, especially if the messages are from people who send crap, like stupid videos; hey, who the fuck needs to know that monkeys in Bulgaria can perform acrobatics, or a woman in China can stuff a whole roast bamboo rat into her piehole? Sorry, I don’t get turned on by streaming videos of retards trying to make up for their country’s years of famine. I also don’t reply to messages lambasting some non-local politician. Seriously what business is it of yours that Alexander Lukashenko is an asshole or that Kim Jong-un has hemorrhoids? Or how Trump is a “man-child”? (Everyone wants a bite of Trump’s ass these days.) Tell me some salacious scandals about our local public figures! Dig out more dirt on the diabolical Liews or the bullshitting Loh cousins and I might take a look. I also ignore quotes or passages from religious books. When you send me Bible verses, what the hell are you trying to tell me? I absolutely hate sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, self-righteous pricks !

Anyway, for those who have switched on WhatsApp to hide their “last seen” and all, do you have any reasons to hide? Do you really need to disable the the “last seen” or turn off “read receipt”?

I asked someone the reason why she has activated her “last seen” and she said “Because it’s easier to ignore someone when they can’t see you, unless you are both online at the same time. They can’t say you were online and didn’t respond.”

Clearly this person has issues.

It’s frustrating when I look at the messages I sent you on WhatsApp and not able to tell if you have read them or not. This can be prevented if I can see your “last seen.” If I see that your “last seen” is not too long ago, I can assume you are around and can WhatsApp you. If your “last seen” shows July 2017, I can assume you are probably dead. If I am not able to see your “last seen” at all, then I don’t know shit.

I know a CEO of a Fortune 500 company who has mandated that no staff of his uses the features to hide “last seen”/”read receipt” because WhatsApp is a useful tool for communications and when you use those features, you make the app rather pointless. Why call it instant messaging when you have rendered it non-instant. People might as well use a pigeon to send you a message.

If you are afraid that there will be consequences when people know when you were last on WhatsApp or when people know that their messages to you have been read, then, I suggest you enroll in a course on assertiveness instead of hiding behind a wall. (Translation: Grow a pair of balls.) Learn to push back, learn to say “no” to unreasonable requests in the nicest possible manner. Lots of people end up doing things they hate, because they don’t know how to say no. How difficult is it to say “I’m sorry, I’m unable to do this at this point in time”? There isn’t even a need to provide a reason.

And if you think you are being stalked, then make a police report. Or confront the stalker and break his nose.

And if you are afraid that money-lenders or insurance agents or freelance hookers will harass you, you can always block and report them.

By the way, when you use the settings to prevent others seeing your “last seen” or “read receipt” you are also not able yourself to see the activities of others or to know if they have read your messages.

That’s not a very smart thing to do if you have aged parents or ailing relatives living apart from you.

Unless you don’t care.

Let’s not wait until a foul smell emits from our rooms or we appear in the obituary pages before we know one of us have died.

Long story short, there’s always the phone. Phones are made for calls. If I can’t reach you, I’ll phone you.

Maybe you prefer that?

And at 3.30am, you’ll be in bed, and I’m sure to get you, right?

No, because you can switch off your phone.

If so, why carry a phone at all?

For centuries, people did fine without a cellphone.

Posted in The Good, the Bad & the Ugly | Comments Off on What’s Up with Some WhatsApp Users?

Now Everyone Is An Author

Three of the people in this picture wrote books about Trump – Newman (in the blue dress), Scaramucci (on the phone) and Lewandowski (pointing).

My ex-colleague proudly announced to me that the latest anti-Trump book he ordered has just arrived.

A new book about Trump seems to crop up each week.

Retards like Omarosa Manigault Newman, Anthony Scaramucci, Corey Lewandowski, John Bolton, James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Michael Cohen, Bob Woodward, kept what they knew close to their chests only to be “revealed” in their books, at the right time.

Other than Woodward, (yeah, yeah, he’s famous, Pulitzer and all) who’s a special kind of a douche – Trump allowed him to tape 18 interviews, and Woodward threw him under the bus (talk about lack of journalistic integrity, skirting of ethics and absence of professionalism!) – most of these “authors” (they probably use ghostwriters) once held sensitive positions in government.

Why didn’t they raise the alarm when their president was allegedly endangering the nation and the American people and the rest of the world?

No, they waited.

Then at the “right’ time, they churn out books about what a scumbag Trump was or supposedly, still is.

All for what? Fame and loyalty?

Writing to expose their scumbag president?

I think the discerning among us know who the real scumbags are in this case.

This much I know for sure: all those who write crap about Trump are secretly and madly in love with him.


Simple! He is the golden goose that keeps laying eggs!

The funny thing is, Singaporeans are lapping their books up.

Well, I guess if you don’t have balls to write the truths about our government leaders, it’s entertaining to read books written by those who think they have balls.

My friends know that as much as I respect certain aspects of Lee Kuan Yew, there isn’t a single book in my thousand-volume (at least) library that is about him.


Most are hagiographies written by ball-carriers.

I may respect, but I don’t worship.

It’s hard enough to get me to respect anyone, let alone worship.

Posted in The Reader | Comments Off on Now Everyone Is An Author

The Retards Doth Complain Too Much, Methinks

Chinatown is decked up to light up like Hong Kong, in commemoration of the Mid-autumn Festival which will occur on October 1st.

Some auspicious wordings on those banners had to be changed after complaints from some members of the public.

Among the wordings being objected to was the phrase “joy for nation.”

Another was “bright and majestic.”

Those complaining were offended by the “wrong” use of auspicious phrases.

The Straits Times said that “both phrases are not commonly used to celebrate the Mid-autumn Festival, which is a time for family reunions.”


What about Chinese New Year? Isn’t that a time for family reunions too. If so, would those phrases be more appropriate then? If they are appropriate then, why not now?

In any case, isn’t it always, always, and not only during specific times, when we should wish our nation joy and pray that it will always be bright and majestic?

By the way, this is not the first time the decorations for the Festival’s light-up have sparked controversy. Last year, organizers had to repaint a two-storey lantern with a picture of the fairy Chang’e (a mythical figure associated with the Festival) following complaints that her facial features looked too masculine.

Oh, come on!

Aren’t there more important matters than this?

A million lives have been lost to COVID-19, and the world economy has tanked and members of the offencerati quibble about phrases used for a festival and that Chang’e looked like a man?


Cry, my beloved country!

No, weep!

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off on The Retards Doth Complain Too Much, Methinks

Do Hungry Ghosts Exist?

All juiced up – the real hungry ghosts.

Yes, they do.

A group of people who called themselves Freegans (from the words “free” and “vegans”) have been going around collecting and consuming fruit offered for worship.

They had a bountiful harvest during the Hungry Ghost Month which ended last week.

To ensure he was not offending the spirits – or the living – the founder of the group said he consulted a Taoist master, who advised him to collect offerings (usually left by the roadside) only after the candles and joss sticks have stopped burning, and to utter a word of thanks and bow as a sign of respect.

The group also went out after midnight to avoid questions from or misunderstandings with passers-by.

“My family and I have been eating oranges,” he bragged. “When we get tired of eating them, we will juice them.”

He said with a chuckle: “I am still hoping that someone will leave durians as prayer offerings.”

So who are the hungry ghosts?

Not those you can’t see!

You can get a half-baked or even fully-baked priest of any stripe to say that it’s okay to stuff your face with fruit being offered to hungry ghosts but me thinks, as a sign of respect, you should leave the offerings alone.

What next? Raiding temples and churches for the really good shit?

I’m sure you can easily find a bunch of clergymen – or women – who’ll tell you it’s okay to do so.

After all, most of these parasitic freeloaders have been eating for free since God knows when.

Just check these spongers out: Eddie Long, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Baker, Creflo Dollar, Ted Haggard, Marcus Lamb, etc.

Fully inspired, will the Freetishes (from the words “free” and “fetish”) go nuts stealing panties from clotheslines next?

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Modern-day Freakshows

Anything to get into the limelight.

They are mostly women.

Although men are guilty of it too.

They would stuff a whole live and squirming obscene-looking phallic-like geoduck clam into their mouth and while chewing and half choking, talk about how yummy it tastes. Food porn. It is worse than seeing fellatio being performed online.

Or they would hold up a giant live lobster, rip off its head, dip a huge chunk of lobster flesh into some sauce and stuff their face with it – “lobster sashimi.” Yes, and all the time almost gagging while talking. Meantime, parts of the lobster are waving about frantically in its death throes.

Or they would race against time to polish off a humongous plate of noodle and yes, all the time almost puking and giving a live commentary on how appetizing the taste is.

These are livestreamers from China who proliferate social media. They are on lots of TikTok videos.

Not only are they disgusting, they are actually extremely shameless, revolting, gross, and indicate that these retards exhibit possession of totally zero class of any kind.

I wonder what is so great about stuffing your face with delicacies and videoing it for the whole world to gawk at? To prove that you are wealthy? That you can afford such rare and expensive food? Giant lobsters and geoduck clams impress the hell out of people? Attention-craving narcissists are a pathetic lot, really. Next, they will be Photoshopping themselves sucking Obama’s dick!

So I am so glad to know that now, Chinese regulators are calling out these vomitous livestreamers who binge-eat for promoting excessive consumption.

Entire roast lamb eaten in one seating.

What the fuck!

Regulators are acting now because China’s emperor, Xi Jinping has declared war on the “shocking and distressing” squandering of food, and all the ass-kissers from the emperor downwards are racing to respond.

Xi’s “clean plate” campaign is long overdue. He banned the use of public funds for banquets and such back in 2012, but rich private citizens continue to live like degenerates.

In a culture where “Have you eaten till you are full?” is a greeting, custom dictates that ordering lots and lots of pricey dishes and leaving food behind are ways to demonstrate generosity and respect toward one’s relatives, clients, business partners and important guests.

It has gotten very much worse now that China is no longer a country where people eat tree roots or rats to survive. Opulence and lavishness are now the norm. Just like mixing Louis XIII with 7UP is the norm.

Indeed, when my wife and I were in Shanghai couple of years ago, one evening, we were dining at a restaurant when we noticed that at the table next to ours, which was occupied by only three persons (one host trying to impress two potential clients?) ordering enough food for at least 15 people and then all three tasting and nibbling before leaving the restaurant. My wife had to physically restrain me because I almost wanted to go over to the table and grab some dishes over. I mean, they hardly touched the food! There was a whole suckling pig, a huge very delicious-looking steamed carp, an entire plate of expensive abalone, a gigantic lobster, and of course, a whole geoduck clam (a must!) – all barely eaten.

Such habits have contributed to an estimated 17 million to 18 million tons of food being discarded annually, an amount that could feed 30 million to 50 million people for a year, according to a study by the Chinese Academy of Science and the World Wildlife Fund.

Emperor Xi’s call is “as much a warning against the dangers of profligacy as it is a reflection of the generational shift in values that has emerged as living standards have risen,” preached a recent writeup I came across recently.

For once, I salute Emperor Xi!

Red hot chilli peppers for five minutes of fame.

Dumb bitch got what she deserved.

Posted in Eat Drink Men Women | Comments Off on Modern-day Freakshows

The Indispensable Pests in Our Lives

What? Me worry?

In 1958, Mao Zedong ordered the extermination of every sparrow in China. He could scarcely have guessed the magnitude of the shitstorm he had set in motion.

“The Four Pests Campaign” was part of the Chinese Communist Party’s disastrous Great Leap Forward – the public health campaign to eliminate of disease-carrying rats and flies, malaria-ridden mosquitoes, and sparrows, which ate grain seed and fruit.

Urged on by Mao and other mousey-looking Chinese communist leaders, the people went nuts! Sparrows by the thousands were shot from the sky, they were hunted down and their nests destroyed. Children banged pots and pans at sparrows resting in trees, chasing them until the little birds plummeted to the ground, overcome by exhaustion. Within a year, the sparrow population in China had been decimated, pushed nearly to extinction.

At first, it seemed as though Mao’s plan had worked. The problem was, sparrows eat more than just grain and fruit. They also eat many kinds of insects, including locusts. With their natural predator gone, the locust population skyrocketed, and hordes of these ravenous insects swept through the China’s farms, devouring everything in their path and contributing significantly to the Great Chinese Famine. By 1961, tens of millions of Chinese would be dead – starved to death by a tragic convergence of economic mismanagement and ecological imbalance.

We all have that that one or two retards in our lives we are wasting too much time and money on, and we consider them as pests.

How we wish they are gone from our lives, right?


We must be thankful for the pests and parasites and freeloaders and verbal snipers and tantrum throwers in our lives.

They are placed in our lives to make us stronger.

Yes, they are placed in our lives to enable us to be charitable, compassionate, kind and generous.

They are here to teach us forbearance, fortitude and forgiveness.

Praise the Lord for them!


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Remembering Heinz Schwarzkopf – Gentlemen’s Gentleman

Heinz Schwarzkopf
November 10th 1950
August 26th 2020

I first met Heinz Schwarzkopf about ten years ago. He subsequently visited Singapore a few more times. He visited twice in 2017,  first, to attend a gathering organized by local pipe-smoking friends on my 60th birthday and again later that year to attend our pipe show. I have also visited with him in Germany a couple of times.

Heinz was a tall, dignified man who spoke perfect English, was always very sharply dressed, and was very mild-mannered, without a temper. He was elegant, dapper and urbane.

He had his views about issues facing the world, of course, but he would never provoke or troll me. He was not argumentative and never antagonistic; he spoke a lot of sense. I knew I could safely engage in a very civilized discussion with Heinz even on politics and religion without ending up with a red face, a pounding heart or a racing pulse. Because Heinz was always cool and unflappable, he had a calming influence on the people around him. His son told me “Whenever we discussed politics (which we did a lot as we had quite different views on many things) he would always mention Singapore and its political system as one that really impressed him.”

Heinz was also very compassionate and kind. He spoke frequently and very fondly of his family and never failed to bring gifts during his visits. Among the many gifts I have received from him include rare tobacco pipes and even bits of the Berlin Wall! Even when he was in hospital, whenever I spoke with him, he never failed to remind me to send greetings and love to friends in Singapore.

He was upbeat and positive throughout his medical treatment and his indomitable spirit shined through as a great example of fortitude.

Heinz and his wife Ulrike loved to go on cruises and they have gone on many of them. He was planning to cruise to New Zealand later this year which included a stopover in Singapore, but alas, COVID-19 made travel all but impossible.

The last time I fellowshipped with Heinz was in January this year when I met him in Cologne; he then accompanied me as I traveled to Munich.

The last time I spoke with Heinz was about a week before he passed on. As we ended our conversation, again he reminded me to say “hello” to friends in Singapore.

Heinz left us on August 26th.

I am devastated. I do not know how to use words to express the tremendous sense of loss I am feeling. What I do know, is that, I will miss Heinz very very much.

The world has lost a great man.

Rest in peace, my dear friend. I’m still reeling from the fact that I’ll never get to meet you again in this life, never again to hear your laughter and your voice. But I know that memories of you will remain fresh in my mind forever. And I know we will meet again one day in a beautiful place where there will be no tears, only merriment and good cheer.

Posted in The Departed | Comments Off on Remembering Heinz Schwarzkopf – Gentlemen’s Gentleman

Fame is a Double-edged Sword

You can’t get any more Asian than this! Photo shows (back row, from left) Kamala Harris, her grandmother Rajam Gopalan, grandfather PV Gopalan and sister Maya. Seated in front of them are her sister’s daughter Meena (in red) and her cousin Sharada Balachandran Orihuela.

They were dancing in the streets of Chennai, India, because 8,000 miles (13,000km) away, someone they claim to be their own may one day become the vice president of the United States. 

Kamala Harris’ mum hails from India (her dad is Jamaican); great pedigree indeed, as mum is a breast cancer scientist and dad is a professor of economics. But media in the US overwhelmingly refers to her as the first “African-American” woman candidate. Isn’t it more correct to acknowledge that she is the first Asian candidate? Black lives matter more?

People like to associate with those who are famous, no matter how thin the thread is that associates them. I have friends in Indonesia who have never met Barack Obama in their lives but claim that they are friends of Obama simply because they came from the same area in which Obama spent a few of his childhood years, when his mother married an Indonesian. Such fame by association is not uncommon. Yeah, Lee Kuan Yew was my good friend because we come from the same country. How many people claim to be “friends” of Jim Rogers because they think he’s a savvy investor and because he now lives in Singapore? How many claim to be fans of Haodilao hotpot because the owner is now Singapore’s richest man? Nevermind the fact that he’s actually from China.

Conversely, screw things up, and people will suddenly not know you.

Last week, after Dee Kosh, a local radio deejay and YouTuber was accused by several teenage boys of sexual harassment, sponsors dropped him like a hot potato and he became a nobody overnight.

There is also guilt by association, you know. Once scandalous news get out, “friends” disappear into thin air instantaneously.

Point: be your own person, the fame of others may not rub off on you anyway, plus, you may be hanging onto the wrong coattail, and worse if you use Photoshop to deceive others into believing that you are associated with someone famous.

The thing is, some people only have money, but very little else. Money can’t buy everything. Money most certainly can’t buy class. It can buy you shitloads of Behikes but it can’t buy you everything.

Take two cousins from Singapore named Nelson Loh and Terence Loh. They own a company said to be “close to buying English soccer club Newscastle United.” They claimed that their company, based in France, is the “world’s fastest growing conglomerate.”

However, no company bearing their company’s supposed name is registered in France, according to official records checked by Reuters.

Confronted by Reuters, someone purportedly speaking on behalf of the two fuckheads also admitted to the fact that they have Photoshopped themselves into photographs with Obama. However, he was quick to declare almost in the same breath that there was “nothing malicious” behind those doctored photos. Oh wow, thank you very much, kind sir. I may be born at night, but not last night.

Even the stupidest idiots know there’s a difference between bumping into Obama at a public function, unlikely though that may be, versus actually knowing Obama as a personal friend and having an intimate “eyes-only” confidential meeting with him in your own office during which he gives you advice – like a mentor – on how to run your business, something the two cousins claimed.

Farcical beyond belief. These retards actually think the public would be taken in by such childish antics.


The late Luo Haocai of China was one of their uncles. Luo (Hanyu Pinyin for “Loh”), who was born in Singapore and was later deported to China by the British, was the former vice president of Peking University, vice president of the Supreme People’s Court and vice chairman of the 9th and 10th National Committee of The Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference. Yes, big kahuna indeed. He must be turning in his grave now.

The deepest depths of hell are reserved for the wealthy who despite their wealth, have chosen to deliberately scam people. I mean, how greedy can you get, right? And how much limelight do you need? Didn’t your parents pay you any attention when you were kids?

Oh, one more thing: the Loh cousins also claimed to have studied at Cambridge and Harvard, that their partner – a China woman (photo below) who probably hasn’t wash her hands since shaking hands with Obama at a social event – has sold online, yes, online, a diamond worth over US$102 million and that they have over 10,000 private jets, a “world record number of private jets for a single entity.”

Poor Singapore Airlines, in comparison, has only 138 aircraft in its fleet, while American Airlines, the largest commercial airline in the world, has only 874 registered aircraft.

It staggers the imagination how some morons think that people will believe their ludicrous and audacious lies.

Fame is a double-edged sword.

You live by the sword, you’ll die by the sword.

The Loh cousins are now in damage control mode. This they do by blaming others and making even more preposterous claims about their “success. That’s the usual trick of transgressors caught with their pants down: deny, deflect, blame some scapegoats, distract, and return under a new guise.

Just do a search on The Straits Times website for more on these two laughable bullshitters.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words; here are four for your kind perusal:


Posted in The Good, the Bad & the Ugly | Comments Off on Fame is a Double-edged Sword

They Who Can Do No Wrong?

Jerry Falwell, Jr, president of the ultra-conservative fundamentalist Christian university, Liberty University, which has extremely strict rules of behavior for its students, was once spotted drinking alcohol and dancing in a nightclub with his wife and children. Early this month he posted on social media a photo of himself with one arm around a woman, the other arm holding a glass of wine and both the woman and him had their pants’ zippers drawn down, with Falwell’s underpants clearly exposed.

A few days later, Malaysia’s foreign minister Hishammuddin Hussein apologized after being caught on video vaping in Parliament.

In the video, Hishammuddin was seen vaping under his face mask. Vapors can be seen coming out from his mask.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize — it’s a new habit. I apologize to the Dewan (Parliament) and promise to not do it again,” he said.

In the middle of this month, controversial anti-virus millionaire John McAfee – yup, that’s him in the photo above, posing for a journalist – claimed he was arrested in Norway for wearing a pair of women’s panties as a mask. His said his sexy black lacy “thong mask” is the safest mask available and had refused to wear the medically-certified type after being insisted by authorities.

What were these retards thinking?

Probably the single biggest problem they faced is the lack of accountability. These Neanderthals and their humongous empires and these thousands of minions whose employment is dependent upon them think they are powerful and hence, invincible. Power is heady stuff. Those who think they are powerful think they can do anything, including insisting in being photographed half naked with a gun pointing at their heads during an interview. Also, while family empires are dangerous, inherited positions of leadership are even more dangerous – think Kim Jong-un, who killed his uncle (for being sleepy at a meeting and “half-heartedly clapping”) and assassinated his brother in full view of the cameras without batting an eyelid. (Falwell’s father founded Liberty University.)

Another problem is caused by the rest of us. Who is going to be the prophet Nathan to call out David when he transgresses? Not too many are willing – or have the balls – to do that. And yet every leader needs a Nathan.

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off on They Who Can Do No Wrong?

Partagas Culebras

Legend has it that the origin of this peculiar cigar lies in the daily smokes given to the rollers.

They were allowed to have only one cigar a day. So, they got creative. They took three cigars when they were still moist and tied them together, making them “one” cigar. When separated, each resembles a snake, hence “culebra” or Spanish for snake.

Those made by Partagas, the Partagas Culebras, (39 ring gauge, 5.7”/146mm long) – once spotted being smoked by Burgess Meredith in a 1963 episode of The Twilight Zone – are my favorites, though a couple of other cigar makers produce similar type cigars too.

I always get a blast smoking them in the presence of other people – they are nice tasting cigars – and those who are not in the know often stare at me, thinking that I’m smoking a cigar I just sat on. (Yes, you untie them and smoke each cigar, separately, one by one, not all three at the same time, you retard!)

Partagas Culebras were made till 2005. Then came a break in production but were re-released in 2007 exclusively for La Casa del Habano, shops franchised by Habanos, SA.

I heard that production of the Partagas Culebras was unfortunately discontinued in 2011. I’m not able to get an official confirmation of that. It’s probably not true since a retailer was able to sell me two boxes last week of Culebras, with the year 2019 stamped on the bottom. (Each box comes with three “coffins” so in total, you actually get nine cigars!)

Anyway, if you happen to chance upon any being sold, grab them!

Not only do they smoke well, they are great conversation starters too.

Posted in Thank You for Smoking | Comments Off on Partagas Culebras