Copulate More to Save our Country

Ex Buffoon-in-Chief

Ex Buffoon-in-Chief

In yesterday’s papers two loud headlines were staring right in my face.

One about a fucktard from China who activated a plane slide for a quick exit.

The other headline screamed “High drama in Tampines after murder” – some nut job from China killed a woman and then made a big show of trying to stab himself to death. (Too bad the bastard didn’t succeed.)

Yup, both incidents were perpetuated by Chinese people from mainland China.

There are lots of brilliant, well-educated, cultured people in China but it’s often the crude, crass, corrupted ones who make the news.

And in Singapore we seem to attract the worst trash from the mainland – the uncouth, phlegm-clearing, loud-spitting types, those who eat like pigs and behave like barbarians; the worst of the worst.

Increasingly, headlines are being created by miscreants from mainland China – hookers with vaginas for rent, con artists who cheat old ladies of their fortunes, douche bags who steal from passengers’ luggage, study mamas who freelance by providing sexual services, air passengers who splash hot water on flight attendants or who fight among themselves, home wreckers who steal your husbands, young sirens who con men of their CPF, you name them, we have them.

Already this country is proliferated with tactless people with absolutely no EQ, and these outsiders – happily let in by our government – only add to the gene pool, making Singapore nothing more than a huge cess pool.

When locals are not producing enough, and the birth rate drops, the floodgates are open and all kinds of self-styled “foreign talent” storm in and contaminate our stock.

Singaporeans, please procreate more or we’ll lose our country very soon! The few of us remaining will be strangers in our own dystopian land.

As for those trouble makers from the middle kingdom, they should be banished to middle earth.

No, not Tolkien’s middle earth – I mean we should bury them alive in the middle of the earth!

 

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I Say, Carry On with the Torture

Nuff said.

Nuff said.

The UN and human rights groups have all gone apeshit and have called for the prosecution of US officials involved in what a Senate report called the “brutal” CIA interrogation of al-Qaeda suspects.

What???!!!

So how should cruel and heartless terrorists who masterminded for planes to fly and crash into buildings (and killing thousands of civilians) or hoodwinked the gullible to blow themselves up as suicide bombers or engaged in the bloody beheading of innocent people like journalists and aid workers be treated?

The good-for-nothing parasites and bureaucrats proliferating the UN and all those clueless losers screaming about human rights should pull their swollen, crap-filled heads out of the sand and get real for once.

I’m sure these morons sitting on their fat asses and drawing big salaries have some really great ideas on how they can extract intel from the evil doers of the world without deploying some tough, coercive interrogation techniques.

I’m sure they are keeping the world safe.

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Data Analytics – One Man’s View

RottenIT firms need new flavors to continue to milk customers. When I was with “the circus” (this huge globally-integrated corporation I was with for ten years) there was first “e-business on demand” before it was abbreviated to simply “on demand.” Next came “cloud computing” and the latest is “data analytics.”

To me data analytics is another one of those glorified common-sense things. We generate data all the time through the things we do. Indeed from what I hear and observe and see, I can put together a reasonably accurate picture of what sort of a person you are. Based on that, I then determine how I will interact with you from that point on. That’s data analytics to me.

If someone is talking about splitting from his wife or contemplating suicide and you respond with a stupid grin, or snigger at him or worse, giggle and utter infantile bullshit; that data you are sending is causing that person to analyze that you are just another insensitive jerk, someone completely incapable of reaching out to those in need.

If conversation around the table – as it has been lately with a group I am acquainted with – seems to be focusing increasingly more on sexual exploits and on married men and their nights out desperately trying to hit on women at drinking places, that data being sent enables me to immediately analyze your character and causes me to arrive at certain conclusions about you. No wonder so many have left the group. Indeed it is painful to be around expletive-spewing people who will never be invited to decent homes because they are not house-trained, because basically, they are clods who may even hold advance degrees yet possess absolutely no taste, and not the slightest perception of refinement.

If you have been spouting verbiage about opening a restaurant – or any other business for that matter – but till now have not produce one shred of evidence that you can actually deliver on your words, then that data is forcing me to analyze that you are nothing but hot air. See this post.

Come on, it’s not rocket science. People look at you and size you up.

“By their fruits ye shall know them.”

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30th Wedding Anniversary

30th

November 17th 

30 years married

10,950 days

262,800 hours

15,768,000 minutes

3 amazing children

1 fantastic son-in-law

2 beautiful grandchildren

1 blessed family!

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Insulting by Coin-dumping

Drowning in coins.

Drowning in coins.

About this time last year, there was a story going around claiming that Samsung paid Apple US$1 billion worth of damages in a lawsuit using 5-cent coins transported by 30 trucks. The story even quoted Samsung Chairman Lee Kun-hee saying that the payment mode chosen by the company is the Korean way of showing Apple that Samsung could also play it nasty. Of course it wasn’t a true story.

Lately, however, paying with coins has been very much in the news.

A daylight robber posing as a mobile phone seller dumped a thousand bucks in coins when ordered to refund a customer. When told to make payment to a car company, one retard dumped 19,000 dollars’ worth of coins from a box used to contain fish onto the carpeted floor of the car showroom.

Maybe it’s an Asian thing huh?

I have also being a “victim” of a somewhat similar incident.

Back when I was in primary school, a classmate by the name of Yong Thong Fook owed me 10 bucks. I can no longer remember the circumstances that led to that and today I bear no ill-will toward Mr Yong. In fact, I’m hoping to bump into him one day to have a chat and catch up over a cup of kopi. Anyway, Yong took a bit of time to repay me and even then I harbored no ill-will toward him but ten bucks was ten bucks so I kept pestering him relentlessly. Maybe because at that time, 10 bucks meant a lot to a 10-year-old boy like me, so I nagged and nagged him every day. Eventually he threw a 50-dollar note at me. Of course I didn’t have change and with that, he displayed a smirk on his face, retrieved the 50-dollar note and then proceeded to throw me a 10-dollar note instead. (Thank God, he didn’t throw ten bucks in one-cent coins at me!) I’m sure Yong felt a sense of triumph doing that to me. As for me, I was glad to get my money back, but I felt utterly humiliated.

I am no psychoanalyst, but I suspect the whole point of throwing money in people’s faces or dumping coins at them is first triggered by internal anger, and then next, by a desire to humiliate the person you owe money to. “You want your money back? Sure, here it is, take it you fucker, come get it!” and then throw the lot at him and use tons of coins and enjoy seeing the poor fella crawl all over the floor like a dog to pick up every bit of what is rightfully his.

Of course having a motive for behaving like a thug is no excuse for pus bags like Jover Chew of Mobile Air to justify his actions. (In addition to along list of infractions, including the coin dumping incident, making his store infamous for having chalked up the most number of consumer complaints, 25 in three months to be exact, Chew left a Vietnamese tourist in tears and kneeling on his knees begging for a refund after being charged an obscene sum of money for “warranty.”) Enough has been written about this and unless you were hibernating in a cave last week, you would know all the sordid details by now, so I won’t add to the cacophony. I just want to share that out of the whole episode, one stark truth struck me: That our government is audacious enough to incur the wrath – not to mention, ridicule – of many by banning chewing gum – and now shisha – to “protect” the population, the long arm of its laws are impotent to protect tourists who shop here, thereby reducing Singapore further as a laughing stock for not being able to prevent thugs, goons and crooks from hiding behind seemingly legitimate stores like those operated by Jover Chew.

And the saddest part of this whole thing is that con men like Jover Chew may get the last laugh, because while one aspect of our laws is impotent to protect those cheated by the likes of him, the other part of our law – that part that deals with harassment – can get into trouble all those internet vigilantes who have been playing pranks on Chew.

Yup, we are so screwed up.

Only in Singapore, only in Singapore.

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Let Down?

Disappointed“Loose lips sink ships.”

I remember those words on a poster on the wall when I was serving my National Service.

Basically it means “beware of unguarded talk.”

I tend to interpret it as “keep your promises.”

Over the weekend I heard about how an acquaintance has decided to forever terminate his friendship with another person simply because of that other person’s “big mouth.”

“Always saying this and saying that and he’s got nothing to show so far,” said my friend, “As far as I’m concerned, this idiot has zero credibility.”

Indeed, as a matter of fact, that “big mouth” has become somewhat of a joke within our fraternity.

But people suffer from verbal diarrhea all the time and promise all kinds of shit.

It’s bad to break a promise, but isn’t it worse to let a broken promise break you?

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Colonel Hans Landa’s Calabash

MovieCalabashThis is the same pipe made for the movie Inglourious Basterds and is handmade by a German-Austrian pipe maker.

It is NOT a toy or a movie replica or part of the official movie merchandise – the pipemaker made this for the movie and I own a similar pipe as well. Yes, this exact same pipe is made by the very same pipemaker who made the pipe for the movie.

HansLanda

I purchased it from Tabac Pietsch.

I love calabashes!

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The Paper Chase – A Matter of Degrees

Your best insurance policy.

Your best insurance policy.

At this year’s National Day Rally in August, the prime minister highlighted some individuals who despite a lack of university degrees rose to prominence in their careers.

Since then, talking heads, aided by the media, have been sending forth the message that a university degree is not everything, that we have to look past paper qualifications and all that.

Almost on a daily basis, we are bombarded with such brain-washing.

The government and its mouthpieces have reasons – probably self-serving and insidious – for propagating that falsehood.

Now don’t you fucking believe that.

What an irresponsible government it is to tell its citizens to look beyond paper qualifications and to inevitably send the fatal message that professional qualifications are not all that vital.

It might as well line us up, give us a free shower, and then send us to the ovens, the way that other guy who attempted social engineering did some 70 years ago.

A qualification – academic or otherwise – is essential. It is a form of insurance.

You may not need or want to use it – I mean, lawyers have become actors, doctors have become salesmen, PhDs have become taxi drivers, psychologists have become cooks and a mathematics major is now our prime minister – but acquiring a professional qualification is still useful.

I am reminded of the Vietnamese boat people of the late 70’s. Many of them who were lucky enough to survive and land on foreign shores had only the tattered shirts on their sunburnt backs, but it was their professional qualifications that ensured them of a more secure future.

So don’t you think for a moment that it is ok to abandon your quest for a professional qualification; go for it! If you don’t have a paper, study for one. The classroom time and the opportunity for personal development is priceless. It’s ok if what you eventually do for a living has nothing to do with your degree or diploma, but at least you know, you have a skillset that is locked away.

Knowing our government, give it another couple of decades, and they’ll be condemning people for not pursuing professional qualifications. History can attest to their changing of positions. And who suffers? Not those fat cats in government, not their brown-nosing toadies, not those big mouths you see on TV. YOU, my friend, will be the one suffering.

Mark my words.

I’m a simple man with simple views, but mark my words indeed. Don’t get screwed!

Don’t you ever stop your quest to pursue an asset nobody can take away from, a means of livelihood that is useful anywhere in the world.

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Bah Kut Tail

Tail

Bah kut teh is basically pork-rib soup. While the Hokkiens prefer those dark-colored ones cooked in soy sauce and popular in Malaysia, most bah kut teh sold in Singapore are the lighter Teochew kind, peppery and garlicky, with clear soup.

One Hokkien bah kut teh business opened here not long ago but had to close eventually, a sign that in Singapore the Teochew version still reigns; strange, considering the fact that most Chinese here are Hokkiens.

Instead of pork ribs, I cook a version of Teochew bah kut teh using pig tails.

Unlike ox tails, a pig tail is smallish and one person could easily polish off an entire pig tail.

Here’s how to cook a pig tail for yourself: Blanch the tail in a pot of boiling water, drain and cut into small pieces and leave in a bowl of cold water.

Add appropriate amount of garlic, onion, crushed white peppercorns, a finger-nail size piece of dang gui, (angelica sinesis), a small stick of codonopsis, a tiny slice of ligusticum and a small star anise into a stock pot of water, bring to a boil.

Lower the pig tail into the stock, cover and simmer for an hour and 30 minutes.

Before serving, season to taste with salt, light soya sauce and sugar and throw in a couple of dried goji berries.

Serve with strong Chinese tea – after all, the “teh” in bah kut teh refers to tea (bah kut means pork-ribs) and steamed rice. Dip in thick black soy sauce with sliced red chillies in the soy sauce.

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Going the Whole Hog

Braised

No part of a pig is wasted. We Chinese go the whole hog. Even the animal’s intestines and stomach can be eaten. Cleaning these internal organs used to take a lot of effort involving multiple washing and rinsing with the use of lime juice, salt and tapioca powder; but not anymore – today’s modern supermarkets sell pre-cleaned “spare parts” for home cooks to either braise or cook bah kut teh style.

A pot of braised pork, pig skin, intestines and stomach may not constitute gourmet cuisine, but nose-to-tail diners appreciate the taste and “mouth feel” of such cheap food and even fancy restaurants are now springing up where nose-to-tail – and anything in between – dining is touted as the in-thing, a culinary secret best known to true connoisseurs. Yup, if caviar and foie gras have been your standard fare, a salad of pig ears or a bowl of peppery pig stomach soup can really perk you up indeed!

I love robust Hokkien and Teochew-style cooking and nothing makes me happier than a pot of well-braised pork, pig skin and all the rest of it, plus a couple of hard boiled eggs. In the picture above (click to enlarge) you can easily spot tau-pok (deep fried bean curd), bits and pieces of pig skin, intestine, stomach, pork and tofu. This used to be the food of the poor laborers of yore, but today, well-traveled gourmands with jaded palates are finding great delight in eating such peasant fare.

To cook yourself a pot of such goodness at home, fill a pot with four cups of water. Add in the garlic, pork belly, intestine, stomach, pig skin and cracked pepper. Bring everything to boil before adding the hard-boiled eggs, tofu, tau pok, light soy sauce, sweet soy sauce, and dark or black soy sauce. Lower the heat to medium and braise the contents for 30 minutes or so until everything is cooked through and is tender. Add salt to taste. Continue to simmer on the lowest heat for another 15-20 minutes. Serve with rice. Wash down with beer. End the meal with a Montecristo #2 or a Por Larrañaga Picadores.

What more does a man want?

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