Best Crab Bee Hoon in Singapore?

Claw

Here’s Yin sitting in front of  a gigantic crab claw from that infamous fried crab bee hoon place located near one of Singapore’s red light districts.

Huge motherfucker.

And the bee hoon is delicious.

This is the place a TV chef ate at and subsequently included in his list of “13 Places To Eat Before You Die.”

There’s no menu there, no fixed prices and other than the crab bee hoon, every dish tastes somewhat the same to me.

You wait at least an hour to be served.

“Served?”

Sorry I used the wrong word.

I was being kind.

There is no service.

Zilch.

Serving staff are rude and brusque.

Try asking for a menu and see what happens.

I was suckered to go there thrice.

The cook who owns this stall and his helpers have some real attitude problems.

Even when there’s no one else, they make you wait for at least an hour.

A real piece of work, this cook.

Like that shithead frying cha kway teow at Pasir Panjang.

Or those douche bags at that Hokkien mee stall in Bukit Batok.

Or that asswipe selling turtle soup in Jalan Berseh.

My personal guiding principle – I never wait for food (I am not in a communist country waiting for daily rations) and I never visit restaurants staffed by assholes.

I would rather use my hard earned money to feed my soul and mind…

Be nice or I eat somewhere else.

Or I buy you up.

Then I fire you.

Assholes forget that the toes they step on on their way up are attached to the asses they have to kiss on their way down.

Harsh words?

Well, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Lately, there’s been news about thin-skinned restaurateurs threatening legal action against bloggers who pen bad reviews.

If you are one of those retards, let me repeat myself – and read my lips – “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

Suing people over the slightest slight (pun intended) is a bad Singapore habit that should be stopped.

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