Do you snarl at your darling?
It’s tough to be humble when you are a big kahuna in the corporate world, when you value your own opinions, when you are so critical of others you think you are beyond reproach.
But have you become the bitch your darling finds increasingly difficult to love?
Do you find it so hard to admit that you are wrong?
Do you find it so hard to accept the fact that you can be wrong?
Do you bring aggression from your work to your relationship?
Do you bring unresolved anger in other parts of your life to your relationship with men?
Can you accept feedback and criticism?
Do you really know how to show that you care?
Are you about to give your darling a coronary?
Is that how you show you care?
Do you find that arguing your way out is a better strategy?
Sure, win the argument, lose the man.
Do you find that diverting the issue at hand to another, totally unrelated issue is a logical way to resolve a problem?
Do you always overestimate your own abilities?
Are you too clever for your own good?
Have you become so stubborn and unteachable?
Do you think that in order to be successful you have to be more aggressive than the males of the species? (Nothing is uglier than a woman behaving like a man. Women who behave like castrated gorillas and who are void of any trace of femininity scare me to death. Perhaps they should try to grow a Hitler moustache as well.)
Are you an alpha biach who must win at all costs?
These are some questions every woman should ask herself.
Every woman should read The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle.
Please don’t criticize the book even before you’ve read it – this book is NOT about submission.
NOTE: The keyword here is ? – a word that cannot be described using the English language.
? is a mindset, an attitude, an intrinsic quality – either you have it or you don’t.
If you wish to be somebody’s wife, you must be ? – if not, no matter how many times you get married, your marriage will fail. (The problem is always with the other guy, never you, right?)
The thrice-married and thrice-divorced Doris Young, one of the first Singaporeans to break into movies – back in the 70’s she starred in three Cleopatra Wong and two Queen Cobra movies – told the press on March 1 that “I have been married and divorced thrice and it is not something I am proud of.”
Maybe she’s not the ? type.
When my daughter got married on November 21 last year; my last words to her were words advising her to “leave and cleave” which reminds me of another Chinese expression ??, which is also very difficult to translate into English. It basically means to respect and to listen to your husband.
Indeed if you wish to be a good wife, you must be ? and you must ??.