Stop the Knee-jerk Reactions Please

Those clowns with the multi-million dollar salaries are at it again.

Some time ago, when the sight of losers suffering the agony of defeat at band competitions became unbearable to some of those jokers, attempts were made to revamp the whole thing.

Then when PSLE became so stressful that parents had to take a year’s leave off work to help their kids cope, those very same retards vowed to re-look into the whole PSLE thingie. Last time I checked, PSLE stands for Primary School Leaving Examination. Hey morons, it’s about PRIMARY school, damn it, not some frigging double PhD in nuclear physics. Now, they’re revamping the Singapore Youth Festival because it causes too much stress. What have we become? A nation of softies and sissies? Doesn’t anyone know anymore that what won’t kill you will only make you stronger? Is there someone out there who is auditing the work some of these idiots do?

If the pioneers of our nation had taken the first sampan out of this country the moment things got tough, is there still a Singapore today?

Imagine if in those early, fledging days of nation building, Lee Kuan Yew or Goh Keng Swee or Rajaratnam saying “Alamak, this is difficult lah, forget it” will there be a Singapore today? As much as those three were authoritarian in their approach, truth be told, they did bust their asses for Singapore. They didn’t flee from stress.

We already have National Servicemen who use maids to carry their backpacks, who do not have to polish boots or starch or iron uniforms and who are issued with iPads to do National Service, while stuffing their faces with gourmet food catered by the same caterers who supply to airlines and now what? Is there a national initiative to soften everyone, a secret project to dumb down everything and turn the entire nation into a country of wusses? Am I missing something? Do you know something I don’t?

How about this?

How about eliminating National Day parades and all the other performances associated with our annual National Day celebrations?

Since participants have to spend time practicing months before August 9th therefore distracting them from work and studies and work-life-balance and all that crap, how about we just forget August 9th celebrations altogether and maybe outsource it to those two million foreign parasites who are here doing fuck all and getting paid beaucoup moola for it? I’m sure they have loads of time to practice and put up some dazzling displays. Yeah, I say let them do something to demonstrate how much they love this great country of ours, maybe some frigging ribbon dance from China or some kung fu style acrobatics where they jump about like deformed, flea-infested monkeys? And those angmoh foreign talents can also perform some shit from whatever caves they’ve crawled from so we soft, lazy, oh-so-stressed-out Singaporeans can watch all that on our 3-D TV while luxuriating in the comfort of our air-conditioned homes while munching tapas from some Spanish restaurants which seem to be all the rage nowadays. Oh yes, and don’t forget the gourmet coffee.

Come on, not all stress is bad!

Remember endocrinologist Hans Selye? He created the word “eustress.” “Eustress” consists of two parts – the prefix “eu” is derived from the Greek word meaning either “well” or “good.” When attached to the word “stress” it literally means “good stress” or “positive stress.”

Simply put, eustress is the positive cognitive response to stress that is healthy, or gives one a feeling of fulfillment or other positive feelings. Eustress has been positively correlated with life satisfaction and well-being. Eustress is motivating, eustress is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the medals awaiting Olympians, the recognition for a job well done.

The stress one feels during one’s honeymoon, or when one strikes Big Sweep, that’s eustress. The stress one feels getting a salary increase or the the 13th month payout, that’s eustress. The stress that comes with having to wipe your dick on your girlfriend’s curtains (without her seeing) after you’ve cummed inside her, that’s eustress. See, it ain’t so bad right?

Now, the stress one feels when observing overpaid bureaucrats and their knee jerk reactions to challenges is negative stress, the blood-vomiting type of exasperating, lethal, fatal stress that I am now experiencing and for which I will probably die of a coronary or an aneurysm one day if I continue to live in this country.

We should stop electing comedians to office, we should instead question if the drive for meritocracy is the root cause of all the grief experienced by our students. Why do we fear PSLE? Why do we fear that time taken to prepare for the Youth Festival will distract our students from their studies? Why do we fear anything competitive? If we become soft, our neighbors will soon be eating our lunch! Remove those meatheads we’ve elected to office – that’ll reduce our toxic stress and intoxicate us with tons of positive, pleasurable stress that will strengthen our constitution.

If there isn’t someone out there who is auditing the work some of these shit-for-brains do, then it is incumbent upon us citizens to stop the furtherance of such stupid, knee-jerk reactions.

Let’s vote them OUT of office.

Then, only then, may they truly know the real meaning of stress.

Phew!

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