Dying Broke

No kid of mine was born with a silver spoon.

(They are all adults now.)

However, none grew up deprived of any basic needs.

They had a roof over their heads, were never short of food and had their education fully financed.

I’ve done what I could – within my means – for them.

No, we don’t live in a Class A bungalow. Ours is a double-storey executive maisonette, built by HDB – about 1,600 sq ft of space. We never had a butler or a chauffeur but I’m sure my children did not feel we were poor and impoverished.

What is HDB? Click here.

A watch advertisement says you buy the watch to look after it for the next generation.

Horseshit!

What crappy advice!

Only a retard would do that.

I’m not a stinge and I don’t scrimp and save so that when I die, I will leave tons of money behind for my kids. Or a stupid watch that means nothing to them.

So I rather spend whatever I have now to ensure they and their loved ones are currently able to enjoy certain experiences with me while I am alive and kicking and not suffering from Alzheimer’s or eating dinner through a tube in my nose, or something.

A sous vide machine, a cast-iron skillet, a bow for archery, handmade by a world-renowned artisan, financial assistance with housing or post-graduate studies (in the form of interest-free loans – note I say “loans” not advance inheritance, mind you), books, books, and books (I never scrimp on books for family and friends) memorable birthday meals, a high-end coffee machine (from bean to brew type), family trips to exceptional destinations, etc are gratifying, positive experiences that can be enjoyed now and are better than an additional 150,000 bucks inherited from my estate when they turn 50.

In fact, leaving behind heaps of money for your kids is likely to metamorphose them into nasty, viperous assholes. Ownership of un-earned money changes behavior. Just look at those scammers who pastor churches.

Another thing I won’t leave for my kids will be debts.

I may die broke, but I will die debt-free.

The last cheque I write will be to my undertaker, and it won’t bounce. (I’ll send it before I croak.)

I came into this world empty-handed and I will leave the same way.

My kids are bright kids, not brain-damaged, half-dead, living vegetables kept semi-alive by machines while lying in bed in a comatose state; they know how to carve out a future for themselves and their families.

They’ll be fine.

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Uncivilized

The Jurassic Mile officially opened in October and is a part of the 3.5km Changi Airport Connector which links the heartlands to Changi Airport. Transport Minister Ong Ye Kung, who cycled along the route, posted about the event the day it opened: “Spot life-sized dinosaurs towering above, I counted more than 20 of them,” he said. “They are very playfully exhibited. You should see it for yourself.”

He added that the exhibit was a “labor of love” by the Changi Airport Group. “The airport is down, but the spirit roars!”

Then a retard sat on one of the dinosaurs, rocked vigorously on it for a TikTok video and damaged it, severing it from its foundation.

Later, the dinosaur’s teeth were found missing as well.

I’m at a loss for words.

For once.

Whoever posted those photos above, placed a black band over the retard’s eyes, I suppose to hide her identity.

Why?

Who this uncivilized creature is should be exposed for all to see.

And you know what the “best” part is?

Bitch probably lives in a condo, shops at Louis Vuitton, drives a BM, eats at fine dining establishments and go for skiing vacations in Hokkaido.

You can take an Ah Huay out of the gutter, but you cannot take the gutter out of an Ah Huay.

And you know what the scariest part is?

Retards like that walk among us, they breed, and they vote.

Retards would even steal from the poor.

The police have arrested about 55 retards believed to have stolen grocery vouchers issued by the Government to less well-off Singaporeans as part of Budget 2020.

The culprits broke into letter boxes to steal those vouchers.

What despicable behavior!

Anyone found guilty of theft could be jailed up to three years or fined, or both.

That’s insufficient punishment for stealing from the needy, if you ask me.

I say “Rotan those retards!”

A retard is escorted by police detectives to the crime scene, to identify the letterboxes from which he stole the grocery vouchers.

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off on Uncivilized

36th Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday was our Wedding Anniversary.

We were married on November 17th 1984.

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Desperate Moves

The Straits Times has a big piece of “news” today on the best law firms in Singapore. The paper, one of several under Singapore Press Holdings, claims that the selection is based on surveys.

Everyone knows that print is almost dead and here in Singapore, newspapers are struggling.

I counted about eight adverts placed by law firms today, all strategically placed in that “report” on law firms.

One ad screamed “Savior of Death Row Prisoner” and “Saved two lives in 10 months” – all headlines from newspapers in the Singapore Press Holdings.

“Advertorials” and paid publicity – often disguised as “news” – are the lifeblood of publications, together with ads, of course.

I’m not so naïve not to know how all this works.

But methinks me do sniff whiffs of desperation here.

Posted in The Reader | Comments Off on Desperate Moves

Revenge Spending?

Paying S$198/- per person to drink wine with tidbits is a reflection of the value system and the priority of some retards.

These must be tai tais living it up on their husbands’ money.

S$198/- can buy lots of kueh for orphanages and old folks’ homes.

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off on Revenge Spending?

Poor Hosts

Singaporeans need to up the standards of their hospitality. The last few times I was invited to homes of Singaporean friends for meals, the experiences were horrid.

Dinner one recent Saturday evening was a typical example. Cold food lying there on the table for hours plus others in the family had probably eaten from those dishes earlier as some meat from a particular dish have been mostly carved out and picked clean, leaving bones behind. We arrived at the appointed time and were made to wait at least an hour at the dining table for no good reason and with all those dishes of cold food (spoiling away?) in front of us. When we finally got to eat, no attempt made to ask if a second helping of rice – which was hard and cold by the way – was required. Nothing offered after dinner – no coffee or tea, not to mention desserts. I wasn’t expecting Royal Doulton or Chateau Margaux or silver cutlery and crystal glasses. But please at least do a decent job! (What happened to good manners and common decency? Treated someone to a meal not too long ago, she ate heartily and said she enjoyed the food, and then when it was all over, commented that her mother could cook way much better! What the fuck! Another story for another time.)

Anyway, Singaporeans should just entertain people at restaurants if they really want to play hosts or seriously take a leaf out of how westerners treat their guests. Westerners possess touches of class and finesse that come from upbringing and common sense as well as an innate sense of graciousness and aesthetics. (Long story short: they are more civilized, and that’s the hard truth.) Actually, we don’t even need to look at how our western friends do it. For me, all I had to do was to compare with how my mum treated guests. Mum would spend days planning the event, even to the extent of cooking a round of food she intended to serve just to make sure her recipes were still good. She was also extremely fussy about cutlery, matching tableware, even the patterns of placemats and the design of the tablecloth. Plus, there would always be flowers on the table, or candles, or what have you. Then she would feed you till you are full and then feed you again till you cannot walk and are suffering from food coma and then mum would pack food for you to take home.

I have long ago vowed never to accept another meal invitation from Singaporean friends. I am irked by the behavior of  bad hosts. To me it’s frustrating to end up with a shitty meal. I don’t need caviar and truffles; even if it’s a bowl of instant noodle, if I don’t feel satiated and satisfied, I get upset. Life is too short for lousy meals. Those few invitations I forced myself to accept I did so grudgingly or because I felt obligated or I didn’t want those inviting me to lose face. I should have the balls to say no to all Singaporean friends who invite me for meals in their homes from now on. Perhaps Singaporeans themselves have been lousy, unappreciative guests to deserve such treatment? Far too many of us show up as people’s guests empty-handed and not even bothering to pretend to offer to help wash up after the meal.

Another bad habit of Singaporeans: you invite someone for a meal, and he shows up with his friends in tow. It has happened to many of us and it has happened to me several times. Once I invited a few friends for a meal on my birthday, one retard came along with two friends – people whom I do not know – then the retard himself said he won’t be joining us at the meal, but left his two friends behind to join my party.

Seriously, such Neanderthal behavior has to stop overall. How often do you see able-bodied young people on the train or on buses, with headphones stuck to their ears, eyes closed, pretending to sleep so they don’t have to give up their seats to the elderly, the pregnant or the toddlers? Some even wear a blindfold that says “Do not disturb.”

Posted in Eat Drink Men Women | Comments Off on Poor Hosts

Unbelievably Embarrassing

This Vietnamese dude smoking a dieu cay made from a bomb shell probably has more brains than retarded Singaporeans who ask idiotic questions.

Steve Fallon (Pipestud) shared this in the October 2020 issue of The Pipe Collector:

Customer: Steve, my parcel was held up and likely it is because of 2 tins of NASPC Year 2014 Limited Edition Show Blend Goblin Weed. Does it really contain a controlled substance?

At first, I thought my customer was joking with me and my initial response was tongue in cheek:

Pipestud: LOL! Yes, that nasty old pipe tobacco sure is being treated as a controlled substance these days!

Customer: So it’s true it does contain weed? Oh my God! Can I get them to send it back to you? It’s death penalty here in Singapore.

Pipestud: I thought you were joking with me. It’s only pipe tobacco. In the USA, we often call pipe tobacco “pipe weed.” The name Goblin Weed was done in fun.

Customer: Is there any info on that tobacco that I can show to Customs?

Pipestud: Yes, the information for that blend can be found on the very popular website, tobaccoreviews.com

Customer: I do not know if that will save me. I am returning the parcel.

Pipestud: I guess that I don’t blame you. I will send you an immediate PayPal refund and please do send the tins back to me at your convenience.

I’m still awaiting the tobacco and I hope my customer is still with us!

Happy Puffing!

***

I emailed Steve: Hi Steve, I had to laugh reading your exchange with your customer from Singapore and want to assure you that not all Singaporeans are that stupid.

Steve’s reply: LOL! Thanks for the chuckle! No, I think that poor fellow was just a wee bit over the top with his concerns. (-;

Thanks for the note and have a great rest of your day!

***

If I ever find out who this retard is, I’ll like to walk up to him and give him a tight slap.

That irritant should just stay home and suck his mother’s tits.

Posted in Thank You for Smoking | Comments Off on Unbelievably Embarrassing

An Indian David Copperfield

Brahmanandam Copperfield

Acclaimed comedy writer-director Armando Iannucci boldly reimagines Charles Dickens’ most famous character in the film The Personal History of David Copperfield – most notably by casting British Indian actor Dev Patel as the iconic hero, a poor orphan who perseveres to become a writer in Victorian England. This according to the local rag.

While most Dickens’ adaptations feature all-white casts, Iannucci decided early on that the casting here would be color-blind, with Patel as the lead and Benedict Wong – a Chinese-British actor – as the lawyer Mr Wickfield.

While most theater enthusiasts are used to being color blind, many are not used to it on screen. So, Iannucci should be noted for having balls.

I enjoy Patel’s acting (Slumdog Millionaire, Lion, Hotel Mumbai, etc) and take delight in seeing Wong onscreen – I like him particularly in Doctor Strange and as Kublai Khan in Marco Polo – but, Iannucci’s balls notwithstanding, I don’t think I’ll be fighting to be the first to watch The Personal History of David Copperfield.

Aren’t “woke” retards complaining about how Western actors shouldn’t be acting as Asians?

Not too long ago, Tilda Swinton was pilloried for acting as a male Asian – The Ancient One.

And now this?

What will they think of next? Getting Sammo Hung to act as Moses in a remake of The Ten Commandments?

Or how about Jackie Chan as Margaret Thatcher? He does possess the right nose, I must say.

Posted in The Good, the Bad & the Ugly | Comments Off on An Indian David Copperfield

NASPC Pipe of the Year 2020

Scottie Piersel and her husband are pipe makers. She is known for her pencil shank pipes (reinforced with steel) and her husband is known for naming his pipes “Crappy Pipes.”

Well, it takes all kinds.

Piersel was tasked by the North American Society of Pipe Collectors to create and craft the Pipe of the Year for 2020. The pipe are in two sizes, a regular and an XL and is an author, in a red stain with a red cumberland stem. Just got mine early last month, I gave away the regular and kept the XL for myself.

I’m not North American and I’m no collector, but what the hell.

It takes all kinds.

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Just Landed: A Pipe by Tom Richard

This pipe is a masterpiece by Tom Richard. Tom hails from northern Germany, close to Denmark, the pipe mecca of the world. It was Poul Winslow who encouraged Tom to go into pipe making, and in 2003, after a visit with German master carver Rainer Barbi, the first TPR (Tom Richard Pipe) came into being, and the rest, as they say, is history. Tom continues to hone his skills by picking the brains of maestros like Cornelius Maenz, Reiner Thilo and Paul Becker.

Tom makes his pipes only out of premium briar as well as ancient morta, thousands of years old. He often embeds his pipes with rare wood, bamboo and horn. Each Tom Richard pipe is a solidly-made and feels perfect in the hand.

This pipe was brought into Singapore for a customer of DrMikePipes.

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