Screaming Secretaries


Who’s the most powerful person in a company?

The CEO? The jaga?

Nope, it’s very often the gatekeeper, the secretary.

Secretaries are notorious for screening calls.

It’s hard to get pass them.

You have to cajole, seduce, tempt and bribe your way.

It can be tough.

And the more powerful or higher up the corporate rung of the corporate ladder the boss is, the nastier the secretary.

Once after having cajoled, seduced, tempted and bribed my way I finally got an appointment to meet The Boss.

But I was five minutes late.

The secretary – who looked like the last remaining virgin on earth – took one look at me and pronounced “You are late!”

She then led me to The Boss and announced “Your guest is here, at last.”

At last.

Then she turned to me.


“Yes,” I answered.

“No sugar for you ah,” she proclaimed, after a quick assessment of my body weight.

She then turned to The Boss and declared “Nothing for you, you already have two cups already this morning!”

The secretary from hell.

I’ve had my own fair share of secretaries too.

Margaret was a control freak.

Once I made the mistake of booking my own travel and she stormed into my office screaming “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Was she getting a commission from the travel agent or what?

Then I had one who could show up for work in micro-minis and funny hats; once she even hang her pantyhose right behind her, where visitors could see.


Then I had one who was like a mother, nagging me to death, telling me that she prays for me and all.

To be honest, she was the best secretary I’ve had.

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