Best Laptop Bag

I used to carry Zero Halliburton bags but they weigh a ton, the locks are problematic – once, when I was in Chicago, I had to hire a locksmith to open my Zero – and they made me look like an international drug courier. Their lightweight cases, introduced several years later, are not impressive.

However to be fair their original attaché cases are the best when it comes to international travel.

When we fly, we are told to put our carry-on bag under the seat in front of us or in the overhead compartment above our seat.

With the way airplanes are designed these days, very often there is simply not enough use-able space under the seat in front of us.

So my laptop in the rather non-protective bag it comes in goes into the overhead compartment above my seat.

So far, so good.

Next thing before you know it some retard comes in and slams his frigging heavy Samsonite packed with a ton of bricks onto my laptop bag.


You can hear the screen crack.

Goodbye, laptop.

I got wiser.

Dug up my old Zero attaché.

Sure I now look like an international drug lord.

And the bag feels heavier when I’m tired – sometimes I do feel that my right upper arm is about to leave its shoulder socket.

But during the flight, with my laptop snug and secure inside my 5” silver aluminum attaché from Zero Halliburton, I don’t worry now.

I don’t care if some dickhead slam his Samsonite packed with a ton of bricks onto my Zero.

I just focus on enjoying my Bloody Mary while the pathetic throngs who fly monkey class (translate: economy class) shuffle past me like cattle to slaughter to the back of the plane.

What’s more, the heat heat-tempered, silver anodized aluminum shell attaché from Zero Halliburton, with luxurious leather interior (like the plush first class leather seat my fat ass is parked in) and expandable file pockets, flap pockets, card slots, etc comes with a lifetime warranty.

It doesn’t say whose lifetime though – the bag’s or the owner’s?

But who cares?

The laptop’s safe, and like they like to say in Australia “that’s the main thing.”

Today, I’m off to Hanoi – again – with my Zero this time.

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