Make Singapore Smoke-Free!

Once in a blue moon, we come across a person so smart, so intelligent and so bright that he or she simply leaves us absolutely speechless.

On June 27, a letter was published in The Straits Times (online) FORUM by one such person.

Here’s the letter:

Consider islandwide ban on smoking in public places

“I suggest a simple yet effective way to tackle the problem of smoking among the young.

“Tertiary education institutions could ban smoking within school hours. Underage smokers, when caught smoking, should be referred to smoking cessation clinics for follow-up.

“The armed forces could ban smoking in all units, and among all in uniform. This will be effective as smokers on in-camp training have no escape. They must abide by the rule. Those caught with cigarettes should be disciplined.

“The lack of access to cigarettes and lack of opportunities to smoke would help smokers to quit.

“Companies could ban smoking on their premises. Smoking breaks should not be allowed as this reduces productivity. Besides, smoking causes health problems among staff.

“Despite the ban on smoking in many public places, smokers still insist, without consideration, on lighting up at food centres, in public toilets, at bus stops and at main entrances of buildings and multi-storey carparks.

“I hope the authorities will look into an islandwide ban on smoking in public places.”

You know what?

I wholeheartedly agree with this person who’s so highly intelligent I suspect he must – at the very least – have the brains of Einstein and la Vinci combined.

I’ve scoured the world for someone like this; I’ve dedicated my life to search for someone like this and I have never for the life of me, expected to find such an extraordinary human being in my very own country.

Yes, we must make Singapore smoke-free.

Yes, we must ban smoking!

Ban smoking indeed!

Ban smoke of all kinds lah!

Let’s ban cars, trucks and motorbikes too.

Let’s ban cooks from stir-frying their dishes as well.

Is your mum-in-law stir-frying your favorite dish?

Go get that bitch, will ya?

Throw her in jail!

Let’s ban barbeques too.

Let’s ban satays.

Lock up all those satay sellers at Lau Pa Sat!

And while we are at it, let’s jail those who fart!

Oh, since we’re on a roll, we might as well hang those who burp and belch.

It’s hard to believe that some people can be so highly intelligent, oh boy, I’m so proud of being a Singaporean, so proud that I’ve just lost control of my bowels.

Loh’s Law: The nearer you are to the shithouse, the harder it is to control your bowels.

Jail him!

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