UOB Visa Infinite

In 2003, UOB invited me to accept the black UOB Visa Infinite credit card – see picture of a sample above.

UOB told me the card is a highly exclusive credit card that specially targets the top 0.1% of the elite circle in Singapore.  Membership to the exclusive world of UOB Visa Infinite is strictly by invitation only.

The minimum annual income required for membership is $350,000/- and there is an annual membership fee of $1,500/- – probably the most expensive fee for any credit card in Singapore.

I’ve been a “member” since.

Go ahead, make my day. Call me a sucker.

For my birthday this year, UOB Visa Infinite sent me five vouchers.

Details of the five vouchers:

  1. A $500/- voucher which can only be used if I spend a minimum of $5,000/- at E’Collezione. Yup I need to spend 5,000 bucks first before anything happens.
  2. A $80/- voucher for caviar hair treatment at Action Hair Salon. Caviar hair treatment? What will they think of next? Fertilizer on my head?
  3. A $300/- voucher for Club 21 Style Services. Er, no thanks, I don’t need a personal shopper or a stylist.
  4. A voucher for a free slice of Japanese cheesecake at Tatsuya Japanese Restaurant. Yes, big frigging deal. If I want to eat cheesecake, the last place I’ll go to is a Japanese restaurant. Japanese cheesecakes are not my thing.
  5. A voucher for a bottle of Parallele 45 to be used during dinner the Tower Club. This means I have to pay for dinner there, plus there are better wines than Parallele 45.

Mum has always taught me if you want to give something to somebody make sure you are sincere. I have also always taught my children the same thing. Don’t give away stuff you don’t want as “gifts” and don’t treat the recipients of your gifts like they’re beggars or like they’re desperate for your unwanted rubbish.

I am unable to make qualified comments about the people who run UOB and their upbringing but I do know that none of these vouchers are worth anything to me and nobody is thick-skinned enough to go to Tatsuya for a free piece of cheesecake without spending money for a meal there or to the Tower Club for dinner just to be able to get that “free” bottle of wine.

Amazing how they treat the so-called “top 0.1% of the elite circle in Singapore.” Like shit is how.

These vouchers probably cost UOB nothing. But over the years UOB has sucked away just about everything I’ve earned. Alright, I’m exaggerating but you know what I mean.

Banks! It has been said that many bankers are nothing but robber barons, buccaneering plunderers, crooks and scrooges!

I wouldn’t call anyone names; I just returned the vouchers to UOB. Those bankers running UOB can take these vouchers that are not worth the papers they are printed on and shaft them up their tight asses.

Oh, some Filipina-sounding woman from UOB phoned me on February 20 and made a lame attempt at service recovery by asking if I would like a cake instead; I told her if they had wanted to offer me a cake they should have done so in the first place, not after I’ve returned the vouchers.

I declined the offer, and hung up on her.

They can shaft that cake up their asses too.

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