The End is Nigh but Singapore’s Got Talons

My friends and I were apoplectic to read that a series of anti shark fin campaigns by various groups are taking place islandwide over the next few months with a common goal: To make Singapore shark fin-free.

The advocates are arguing for a ban on trade of shark fin and its consumption at official banquets and functions. They are also hoping to persuade Chinese restaurants here to remove the dish from their menus and corporate events.

Two communities – Chong Pang and Canberra under Nee Soon GRC – have banned the dish from being served at official functions. Not that it has ever been served before. If my experience is anything to go by, most events organized by PAP serve swill.

The Ministry of Law said Law Minister K Shanmugan and Member of Parliament Lim Wee Kiak have recently taken the lead in this no shark fin stand. (Yeah, there is no lack of superhero wannabes in our beloved country.)

Two weeks ago, the No Sharks Fins Singapore campaign was the first to launch here.

Another group, Shark Savers, is due to embark on four campaigns over the next few months, with the end goal of persuading the authorities to impose a trade ban as well as a ban of the dish at official functions.

Speaking to TODAY, some dude named Jonn Lu, who is leading efforts of Shark Savers, said that while no other country in this region has imposed a total trade ban, Singapore is well positioned to be the first.

What gives this young upstart the bloody right to proclaim that? Indeed what has he done to earn that right to spout such nonsense?

The average, acquiescent Singaporean feels persecuted enough in this country – we’ve had so much shit imposed on us in the last few years and now we have to feel judged for the food we eat? Fuck you!

“To date, no country with a significant stake in this industry, be it a fishing, trading or a consumptive one, has done anything to protect sharks. Herein lies a golden opportunity for the Singapore Government to come across as a thought and policy leader,” he said.

Nevermind the fact that the joker – despite being a Columbia grad – has got the concept of “thought leadership” completely wrong.

First they came for the communists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me. – Friedrich Gustav Emil Martin Niemöller

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It’s worse when these good intentions are driven by inaccurate facts propagated largely by non Asians who have no right to mess with our culture and heritage cuisine. Don’t let these victims of bad science mess with us! In case you missed that, read about bad science here.

Remember Hitler was driven by bad science too; his quest for a pure Aryan race killed millions of innocent Jews.

The end is nigh only if you let it be.

Come on shark fin lovers, bare your talons, fight back!

I’ll give up my shark fin when those activists pry it from my cold, dead hands!

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