Ho Kwa Bo Ho Chiak

At least they're smart enough not to have an "A" in their corporate logo.

When a fire broke out at SingTel, disruption lasted days.

Yet some goondu can say “the Government is ‘quite happy’ with how SingTel had handled the situation based on the business continuity processes and emergency plans in place.” Since when did that clown become spokesman for the whole government?

If my grandfather was still alive, he would stick up his middle finger and say (in Hokkien) “LANCHIOW!” to that.

Please lah, we have enough comedians already.

And the nutcase who made such ridiculous pronouncements continues to jostle with the crowds trying to beat the queue to become the most noticeable comedian in town.

Next, some DBS and POSB ATMs went down for half an hour due to “a system connectivity issue” which is corporate mumbo-jumbo for “We didn’t know what the fuck happened.”

If my grandfather was still alive, he would say “KONG SEE ME SAI?”

Then M1 decided to join in the fun too when its service was disrupted due to “upgrading works.”

If my grandfather was still alive, he would shout “KAN NEE LAO BOO CHAO CHEE BYE!” out loud.

SMRT quickly jumped in too – a defective power supply was shut down, causing train service from Tampines to Tanah Merah stations towards Joo Koon to be disrupted.

The word “disrupted” is probably the most used word in Singapore nowadays.

If my grandfather was still alive, by now he would have set fire to City Hall.

Thank God the old coot is long dead and gone.

So here we are – Singapore, bright, shiny, a Legoland model of efficiency from the outside but my grandfather will say “ho kwa bo ho chiak” – good-looking but not fit for consumption; nice on the outside but rather rotten inside.

Don’t those powers-that-be with the multimillion-dollar salaries have brains to think of contingency and back-up plans; don’t those overpaid clowns in charge have some form of crisis-management protocols in place to ensure that this supposedly first world country is indeed functioning as one, led by smart people with real first world capabilities and not just retards speaking crap through their asses and just paying lip service? And I thought the SMRT is run by a bunch of ex-generals armed with iPads, civilian soldiers with zero war experiences but full of book knowledge on how to run things correctly?

Who can’t – as they say in Mandarin – “zhi shang tan bing” am I right? Yup, any idiot can be an armchair strategist.

Then there’s another group of jokers who retort, “Come on lah, things could be worse. You know how shitty things can be in other countries you know.”

Hey, when the tax we pay go into fat salaries for the “talents” put into positions of power and leadership, we expect no less. We aren’t going to lower our expectations just because other countries are run like kampongs! We’ve always been told to expect the best, that meritocracy is in, right not?

Now I really wish my grandfather hasn’t died.

With apologies to Xinhua News Agency, it is perhaps a good time for befuddled Singaporeans to start considering building a de-PAPed world.

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