Help Me! I’m Surrounded by Retards!

FacepalmLife’s ok.

It’s the people that sucks.

Why the hell is everyone so fucking stupid?

I am quite sick and tired of the people around me, the majority of them are fellow Singaporeans.

You invite someone for Sunday brunch and the response that comes back is “I can’t lah, have to work, so many fish in the ocean, how can I give them up and come for your brunch?” Frigging retard is always stepping on his own dick.

You offer someone a dram of rare, expensive single-malt that would cost the equivalent of his hourly rate and he goes “Wah, tastes like cockroach, can I have a beer instead?” I searched for elucidation but failed to understand how Troglodytes who gatecrash and invite themselves to your summer homes can be choosers.

You tell someone you fear your grandkid might have caught mycoplasma pneumonia infection and the response is “The last time I had that, it lasted one year.” Well, thank you very much. Fuck you, you moron! This cretin needs a damage control program for his mouth.

You tell someone you’re not well and will miss the party and he says “Too bad.” Thank you for being as capable of sympathy as an amoeba.

You tell someone you are suffering from a slipped disc and he says “You’re too fat lah.” My degenerative spine isn’t due to my weight, you meathead! Get your facts right before shooting off your mouth!

You invite someone for an elaborate meal and top it off with a spa treatment and he wipes his mouth and whacks his butt when it’s over and scoots off without a word of thanks. You are welcome, Mr Zero EQ.

Frigging Singaporeans!

And now, the foreigners:

You talk to someone who has lived here for years after leaving her native France and she has the gall to complain about how fucked-up Singapore is and say things like “When Carrefour put a Singaporean in charge, everything went downhill, eventually they had to close the supermarket.” You want to know why Carrefour closed? All the stingy, cheapskate white trash “foreign talents” like you are shopping at FairPrice and Sheng Siong that’s why! And nobody wants to hear you complain about our Singapore the moment you park your fat ass in front of us.

You meet a guy who is a bankrupt many times over, who has a horrid reputation and who is regarded as a bit of a clown who will copulate with anything female with an orifice, but who is lucky he conned his way here and found himself a job and PR status yet each time you meet, he condemns Singapore and makes fun of our prime minister (calling him Pinkie, and Singaporeans Sinkies) and criticizes our government. Ungrateful ingrate, biting the hand that feeds you. You must have topped your class in political incorrectness.

Some of these foreigners ought to be reminded that no one has put a gun to their heads and force them to stay here and that this is not a prison – they are free to go anytime. Those who refuse to go should be deported or boiled in hot oil.

I’ve put up with too much crap for way too long.

I think I will move away and hang out with my friend in Mexico.

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