Stay Away from Me!

QuestionBeing 58 does not make me a venerable old sage.

More likely than not, it just makes me a grouchier old bastard.

Well, I suppose I’ve earned the right to be a grouchy old bastard, having eaten more salt than most people have rice.

But having survived till this age, and having lived and worked internationally, it does mean that I do have an innate sense about people.

All said, “chemistry” is critical. Without chemistry, you’re history.

My asshole antenna is always on and some people come through loud and clear.

If you show up and I have bad vibes about you, I – though I keep an open mind – will let you slowly hang yourself before I formulate any conclusion about you.

The thing is I am usually 100% right about people.

This means if I think you are a bottom feeding asshole, you ARE a bottom feeding asshole.

You may drive a fancy car, chain-smoke Havanas and quaff thousand-dollar wines, an asshole is an asshole no matter what you own or what you indulge in.

And don’t even try the “my dick is bigger than your dick” bullshit with me. Trust me, you won’t win – even if you own a private jet or have properties around the world.

If you want to make an egregious fool of yourself before everyone, it’s your choice, really.

Just remember, if you show up, loudmouth, boasting about your possessions and behaving like you own this country, I write you off mentally. That’s the first thing I do.

Then I keep an open mind and let you convince me that you are worth my time.

In the meantime, don’t blame me for being too quiet.

I’m no misophoniac.

I’m just cerebral.

I am not a trumpet.

Or an empty vessel.

You do know what they say about empty vessels, I hope.

I hate noisy people and I abhor those who talk shit. Yes, just don’t talk shit with me please. We don’t need to be reading to each other from the collected works of Shakespeare all the time but as Jorge Luis Borges once said, “Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.”

Why can’t more people just enjoy comfortable silence together? (That’s how my wife and I stay happily married for 30 years! Yes, that’s the secret to a successful marriage! We often hold hands and enjoy each other’s company in silence.) Indeed, spewing crap doesn’t do anything to make a person more lovably nice.

Anyway, Trevanian, (nom de plume of Rodney William Whitaker), once said, “Niceness is an overrated quality. Being nice is how a man pays his way into the party if he hasn’t the guts to be tough or the class to be brilliant.”

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