Scary! They Walk Among Us!

A couple of days ago, a three-meter-long python was found outside a well-known department store at Orchard. (Now, that’s nearly ten feet of snake!)

Pythons are the world’s longest and heaviest snakes. They are constrictors. People and animals in this part of the world have been killed and swallowed by them.

The media reported that five men from a pest control company were trying to capture it. It was eventually handed to the zoo.

The snake appeared to attack one of the men. The Animal Concerns Research and Education Society said that one of the men was bitten by it and it was later confirmed that the injured man had to undergo minor surgery to remove an embedded snake tooth.

But the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority announced that it will investigate the “mishandling” of the snake, and added that cruelty to animals is an offense under the Animals and Birds Act.

It declared: “Snakes should not be unduly harmed by the persons handling them.”

Surely the safety of the public supersedes stupid, senseless bureaucratic guidelines?

I can’t believe how pussified we have become!

Just because something is made into law doesn’t necessary make it right.

Hitler legalized Nazism.

No one seems to be concerned about the brave guy who was attacked by the python!

One supposed veteran wildlife expert – whatever the fuck that means – even claimed that the men displayed a lack of training and knowledge; this despite the fact that the manager of the team that tackled the python was trained in snake handling at the Singapore Zoo.

That same retard said “you can see the men did not respect the snake. They were just trying to assert their superiority over it.”

Oh, respect the snake? And let it assert its superiority over the men?

In my daily life, I deal with morons with low IQ all the time, but this guy takes the cake!

What he said is so ridiculous it beggars belief!

So what do we do the next time we see a motherfucking big python? Go down on our knees and kowtow to the snake to show respect and then email AVA – the phone there often takes forever to be answered – and risks the snake slithering away, or worse, strangling someone, a child perhaps, and swallowing him or her?

What the fuck?! If anything, the brave man should be given a commendation and not threatened with being charged!

Paid for his bravery. He and his teammates were pilloried for not respecting the python.

UPDATE: On February 20th AVA declared that there was no mishandling of the snake.
On March 7th I happened to meet the poor fellow in the photo; he told me he required more than 20 stitches and he was on medical leave for a month.

Meantime, American TV dating show, The Bachelor, took its contestants to Singapore and fed them food that few Singaporeans eat, except for some old-time epicureans. Some of the delicacies served included pork trotters, frog legs, and pig intestines. (I know for a fact that the Germans eat pork leg and the French consider frog legs a delicacy. And as for intestines, many foodies in the British Isles – think haggis – and in Europe do enjoy offal.)

Therefore I say, the women contestants should win Oscars for their  epic “performance revulsion.” They screamed (“Pig intestines, ewww!”) gagged and vomited, all in an overly exaggerated fashion. Good luck if you happen to bed one of those bitches; trust me, her orgasm is probably as fake as her boobs.

In case you have been hibernating all your life, shaming Asian food is still very fashionable, especially in the west.

As John Lui, a local film critic said, “Shaming people for their food choices is a set-up in bitter jokes made by Asian-American comedians, who as children, were mocked for packing fried squid and kimchi in their school lunchboxes.”

“The punchline: In 20 years, the same bullies will be paying $30 for the same food in a hipster café,” he added.

True, that.

We don’t make jokes about westerners force-feeding geese to enlarge and harvest their livers for foie gras or puke when we see them stuffing their faces with larvae-invested Casu marzu, or eating the gross-sounding pajata, which is the intestines of unweaned calves, do we?

Maybe we should start!

No fan of local food. But offer her fried chicken and water melon, and we’ll be accused of racism.

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