Today is Boxing Day, 2022. The year isn’t quite over yet, but it’s not too early to sum it up as I don’t think – fingers crossed – anything earth-shaking will happen between now and 2023.
This year, that diabolical vainglorious shithead, that mad monster Rasputin invaded Ukraine, showing the world how a controlling, mesmerizing snake oil peddler can totally lead gullible, empty people into absolute delusion that they are on the right path, with followers worshipping him as they would Jesus, despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary. I mean, Russia has 144 million people and no one saw through this loony? What happened to discernment? There are too many nutcases all over the world who have obviously forgotten that Jesus died – he took about six agonizing hours to die – after being tortured and then nailed like a common criminal on a wooden crucifix! Trust me, Putin will come to a bad end. In fact, the ex-MI6 chief has predicted that Putin will be in a sanatorium and out of power by 2023.
Here at home:
- Our next prime minister was named, but honestly, is Lawrence Wong the best we can come up with? Well, at least it’s not Mr Fuck Face, Napoleon Chan Chun Sing.
- Singapore “re-opened” despite the pandemic, proving to those who always criticize Singapore that we are far smarter than meatheads and buffoons who stick to “zero-Covid-19” policies. I guess when you can only make your living in China, you will suck up to China, and become blind to China’s failings. Come on, if you dislike Singapore so much, give up your citizenship lah. I am sure Emperor Xi will welcome you with open arms! Stop telling me how fucked-up my country is!
What else happened this year?
- David and Sophia went back to Taiwan.
- Other than David and Sophia, the other individual who left our lovely country this year is that meretricious gold digging prick-teaser, yes, that grifting leech, yes, yes, none other than that ungrateful, conniving bitch, a loser who couldn’t hack it here, so she made the biggest mistake of her life by choosing to return to the boondocks in a third world shithole to copulate with some stinky, disease-ridden troglodyte. Yup she ain’t no angel, that one. In one fell swoop, she has successfully destroyed her future. It’s hard to watch some retard on a path of self destruction. Sigh, it is what it is.
- I met Maj Wong, Tze Yuan, Itty, HyungEun, Geraldine, Zen Pin, Stephanie and Grace again. Grace now manages two Starbucks stores, congrats, congrats, congrats, well done!
- David Kimpton went home to the Lord before I could visit him.
- I wrote another book.
- Bee passed away.
- Nino Munoz died.
- 377A was repealed.
- Najib – that odious lump of walking smegma – went to jail.
- Joseph Schooling admitted he took cannabis.
- Queen Elizabeth died, four years short of her centenary.
- A head of lettuce outlasted Liz Truss, an Indian replaced her, and PAP tells us we are not ready for an Indian prime minister yet, what the fuck!
- That dogfucking weirdo Richard Branson wrote falsehood about Singapore drug laws.
- Two giant international bookstores – one from Taiwan, the other from Japan – eschewed Singapore to open their first Southeast Asian stores in Malaysia because Singapore has priced itself out of the market with its crazy high rental and operational costs.
- I received a second booster shot.
- I gave away my outrageously expensive designer luggage – too showy, I didn’t want to appear hoity-toity.
- I went on short trips to various parts of Malaysia several times, once with Alvin, once with Jino and twice with Colonel.
- I revisited Turkey – mosques, mosques, and more mosques; sure, they are all magnificent and historical, but how many mosques does one need to see? Plus Turkey has the worst traffic jams on earth, and almost every taxi driver there a crook, what a country!
- Worst dish of the year: I ate the crappiest char kway teow in the southern hemisphere, no, make that “in the world” instead, at Malaysia Chiak! in Centrepoint. Every F&B outlet that incentivizes bloggers and social media “influencers” – translation: shameless and greedy freeloaders – to write about it, gets raving “reviews” and consumers have no inkling which eatery is really good. Some eateries serving the shittiest food get the most critically-acclaimed reviews, so you morons out there, don’t believe everything you read! I was optimistic about Centrepoint’s makeover, but plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
- Surprise find of the year: Succulent, plump and fresh mussels, simply poached from Yu Zhong Bu Tong, a stall in a food court! Unfortunately, consistency seemed to be lacking as the mussels during my second visit weren’t that great.
- Best food of the year: A tough fight between those Porterhouse steaks I’ve been stuffing my face with at Wolfgang’s Steakhouse (this fella, not Puck, is the one who worked for over 40 years at Peter Luger in New York) and the thick, juicy, tasty ribeye I ate at Barilla Bay Restaurant, Hobart.
- Worst movie of the year: local movie Deleted.
- Best movie of the year: none. They make dog turd nowadays.
- Assholes of the year: all those who didn’t have the basic courtesy to reply to my emails or WhatsApp messages despite repeated reminders. They think I have nothing better to do than to chase them or what? Top three vying for championship this year: Nguyen Thi Hai Nhi, Jen Shek Wei, Stephanie Tully. I blame it on their upbringing, or lack thereof. Could also be their parents’ parenting, or lack thereof! These three were the worst of the non-responders. Ungrateful! Disrespectful! Frigging rude! Douche bags all!
- Greatest disappointment: that the daughterfucker in the neighborhood isn’t dead yet.
- Personal highlight of the year: the wife and I returned to Tasmania, and marked our wedding anniversary there. Notable too was the delightful fellowship I enjoyed with kindred spirit Ian when I was there.
And it’s a wrap!
I will be gallivanting around the globe from 2023, and writing a couple of books at the same time, so I will not blog as often. Nobody reads my nonsense anyway.
But if you have a modicum of interest, do check back occasionally to see if I’m still alive.
This is au revoir, not adieu.
In the meantime, allow me to share this with you:
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back. – Albert Camus