Cantankerous Termagant

If you are going to spend your whole life judging how misbehaved people are, you are going to be one miserable loser.

Honestly, unless you are perfect, you have no business condemning other people.

I know a termagant – I was told that’s the term for a female curmudgeon – who has appointed herself policewoman of the world; this woman who hails from Afghanistan, an ex-colleague of mine, my co-author for several research journal articles, criticizes everyone, chastises everyone, honks at drivers on the road, take swipes at people whose behavior she deems unacceptable, etc. In short, she is an overall pain in the rectum, a shit-stirrer extraordinaire and a very unpleasant and difficult person to be with, especially when she’s driving. She would drive like a speedemon, doesn’t give way to anyone, curse other drivers on the road, in short, drive very recklessly with nary a care for the passengers in her own car! This Karen is worse than Otto, that cranky, anal-retentive character played by Tom Hanks in the movie A Man Named Otto, which is based on the Swedish movie A Man Named Ove which is adapted from the Swedish book A Man Named Ove, phew! Why are remakes even necessary when the original is already so good?

Stenosis of the spinal canal, leading to extreme pain caused by pinched nerves plus osteoarthritis of the left hip, are two conditions that form the asteroid that cratered my life. Many friends and acquaintances would check on me periodically. But not this termagant despite all the “concern” she professes for me, she is cold and impersonal and this is definitely an area that she has fallen short of. Not once has she asked “How’s your back/hip?” For someone reared on the principles of integrity and sincerity, this tantamount to apostasy.

But of course, she cannot be given feedback, no matter how constructive. In her eyes, she is perfect, she can do no wrong. Extra helping of spicy chilli sauce into her food despite a bad throat, a bowlful of pork lard despite her religion and an increasingly thickening waist. But who can criticize? Afghans are known for amputating or beheading those they don’t like and this alpha Afghani bitch will easily bite my head off.

Don’t blame us men for choosing to be non-verbal, becoming the so-called strong silent types. Opening our mouths usually means an assault of verbal diarrhea from some fat, ugly termagant who’s a know-it-all. So better shut the fuck up rather than opening our mouths only to be corrected, rebuked, rebuffed, reprimanded and made to feel like idiots, humiliated but restrained by the law from murdering anyone.

It is my shit luck recently to know quite a few women like that in my life – women who are convinced they are always right, who cannot be corrected, who could not and would not take criticism, who will argue to their death even though they are dead wrong about certain facts – for example how to say certain words/brand names, like “Cetaphil” (correct) versus “Khetaphil” (wrong) – these are the Jezebels, the alpha bitches who will never admit they’ve made mistakes, who will never ever apologize for the errors of their ways. They strut around as if their clitorises are more gigantic than our penises and they lord over everyone. I am sure they contribute massively to the early demise of the male gender.

In the King James Version of the Bible, Matthew 7:5 reads:

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

People who are so critical of others often forget to turn the mirror on themselves.

As for me I have learned that not harboring expectations is best for my peace of mind.

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.

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