Any time there’s a long weekend, more than 500,000 from Singapore will flee across the border, to Johor Bahru, Malaysia, despite the fact that it often takes up to six hours to get across. (By the way, Johor reported 16 million foreign visitors last year, mostly from Singapore.)
Just as Hongkongers flock to Shenzhen, we throng JB for the same reason – everything’s cheaper there. A Singapore dollar was once nearly 3.50MYR. Yet, many of us refuse to admit that we are cheapskates. Our cheapskate mentality is rooted in historical baggage of observing our parents stretching every dollar they had scrimped. We have also internalized the belief that scammers are always on the prowl, forever out to pounce on us to con us. So, when we scored a bargain, it felt as if we’ve outsmarted all the Bernie Madoffs and Najib Razaks of the world.
Saving money is virtuous indeed, no one should squander hard-earned cash but our obsession with bargains and all kinds of cheap crap shouldn’t rob someone of their fair earnings. Have we ever considered how our visits contribute to the massive increase in the cost of living in JB? Is this why approximately 350,000 Malaysians commute to Singapore daily for work, most of them on motorbikes, come rain or shine?
But we don’t care, do we? Today, with rising operating costs, to be fair, we can’t expect to pay the same amount of money we used to pay for, say, a meal. But we do, don’t we? Because, come on, we are cheapskates, always looking for anything cheap and worse, bragging about it. So, to JB we hurry! 10 bucks in Singapore is hard-earned 10 bucks, but 10MYR is only a little over two bucks Singapore. Cheap lah! Cheap leh! So eat until “peng” (upside down)!
It is time we show some maturity and drop the notion that cheap is best and that free is even better. Ever been privy to a conversation between two cheapskates? Competing to take top spot as The Mostest Cheapskate in Town is a conversation I find difficult to eavesdrop to. “Oh, I paid only five bucks for a haircut!” “What?! I only paid three bucks! I win!”
Life is short, we can’t take it with us when we croak, all that money saved under your pillows and secreted away in bank accounts and investments will not go with you when you die, so, what does that mean? If you ask me, I’ll say “We deserve to spend (on things that matter)!
I’m not talking about being a spendthrift. I’m not talking about splurging or spending money indiscriminately. I am referring to good spending. It means aligning our money with our highest values like compassion, relationships and positive change. Being cheapskate often isn’t about saving money; it’s usually about valuing it over relationships. Cheapskates focus on cost, often at the expense of quality. I rather feel “pain one time” and buy something of quality and therefore usually more costly than the cheap shit people grab at bargain basements, instead of feeling “pain long time” like buying a used car “cheap” and then spending heaps of money every month to fix this, that and the other. That’s penny wise pound foolish. These words are lost on the cheapskates because they know the price of everything but the value of nothing.
Back in the day, we did business with people we knew to be in solidarity with them, to support them. Uncle was a tailor so we went to him, auntie ran a medicine shop so we bought from her, a neighbor owned a grocery, so we purchased from him, a cousin was a dentist, so our whole family sought treatment from her. Reciprocity was social currency. Nowadays we calculate how much we can save at the expense of relationships. The dentist in JB is cheaper, so fuck our darling cousin lah! We are even thick-skinned enough to have the temerity and gall to salt the wound by telling her in her face that we don’t see her anymore because some two-bit dentist in JB – whose “qualifications” are probably not recognized in Singapore – is cheaper. Yes, there’s a constant fight between your Prefrontal Cortex (decision-making) and Limbic System (emotions). Remember Jonathan Haidt’s rider and elephant? Go read the damn book!
Sure, it’s important to do our sums. Calculate all you want. Do your additions, subtractions and multiplications, by all means. Who should I treat? Who should I buy gifts for? Using the Kakeibo method to help me, I regularly reassess how much I should save, set that amount aside, and then DISCIPLINE myself to spend the rest. Yes, SPEND the rest! I am not like those misers, who – as an old Chinese phrase goes, “treat one teeny-weeny penny like a big bullock cart.” Money spent can be earned back, and it’s only money! Let’s not assign it more significance than it deserves.
No, don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to spend recklessly. I’m saying, sure, be frugal, but don’t be a miserly Scrooge or a chronic hoarder depriving yourself and your loved ones of better opportunities, better equipment, better experiences and better resources, etc because your money is still hidden under some smelly pillows! The older you are nearer the grave, the less often you should visit the same old places just because they are cheap.
There’s a whole fucking world out there, man.
Go see the world!