Author Archives: Lohcifer

Have You Walked Your Food Yet?

Must be the pandemic making people do strange things. Owner of House of Seafood, Francis Ng, believes that taking his crabs out for a walk is good for his customers. In June, he mentioned how he loves his crabs “the … Continue reading

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No Ma’am, I Don’t Want to Suck Anything

There is something about Chinese restaurants that makes me uncomfortable. First of all, the staff usually stand around near your table to see you eat. I guess the idea is that they are standing by to render assistance if needed, … Continue reading

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No, Please No!

In early June, Singaporeans flocked to Sembawang to view a rare blooming of a large glorious flower of an exotic plant known as the elephant foot yam. Within three days it was gone. Someone has cut the flower and stole … Continue reading

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Today – Published!

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Padang in Sleaze Central? No, Hell No!

Along Orchard Road is a seedy building reeking of semen; it is also known as Four Floors of Whores. Word has it that you can even get a blowjob at the carpark. In the basement of that building is a … Continue reading

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Today – Last Trip with Heinz

Final farewell to my dear and much-missed friend Heinz. Below are excerpts of a letter I received in April from his wife:

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Butter in your Java? Why Not?

Back in 1974, Shi Pong Hsu, now 85, bought over a kopitiam (“kopi” is Malay for coffee and “tiam” is Hokkien for shop) by the name of Heap Seng Leong at 10 North Bridge Rd #01-5109, Singapore 190010 and it … Continue reading

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How to Ensure your Restaurant is Always Fully Booked

1. Rent a very small place – you can then publicize that your restaurant is cozy, intimate, exclusive and private. Most Singaporeans are “blur” (Singlish for “clueless”) and they will be impressed. 2. Hire an interior designer who specializes in … Continue reading

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Olympigs

To me, the Olympics is a non-event. It shouldn’t have happened, considering how incompetent the Japanese have been in dealing with the pandemic so far – there goes the myth of Japanese efficiency – but money, politics, pride and stubbornness … Continue reading

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A Place in My Heart

Lost Freight is a charming little coffee place operating out of a shipping container at Kunanyi, Tasmania. (”Kunanyi” is the traditional Palawa kani name for Mount Wellington.) It is situated on the site of the grand Springs Hotel which was … Continue reading

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