Author Archives: Lohcifer

Today – Published!

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Padang in Sleaze Central? No, Hell No!

Along Orchard Road is a seedy building reeking of semen; it is also known as Four Floors of Whores. Word has it that you can even get a blowjob at the carpark. In the basement of that building is a … Continue reading

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Today – Last Trip with Heinz

Final farewell to my dear and much-missed friend Heinz. Below are excerpts of a letter I received in April from his wife:

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Butter in your Java? Why Not?

Back in 1974, Shi Pong Hsu, now 85, bought over a kopitiam (“kopi” is Malay for coffee and “tiam” is Hokkien for shop) by the name of Heap Seng Leong at 10 North Bridge Rd #01-5109, Singapore 190010 and it … Continue reading

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How to Ensure your Restaurant is Always Fully Booked

1. Rent a very small place – you can then publicize that your restaurant is cozy, intimate, exclusive and private. Most Singaporeans are “blur” (Singlish for “clueless”) and they will be impressed. 2. Hire an interior designer who specializes in … Continue reading

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Olympigs

To me, the Olympics is a non-event. It shouldn’t have happened, considering how incompetent the Japanese have been in dealing with the pandemic so far – there goes the myth of Japanese efficiency – but money, politics, pride and stubbornness … Continue reading

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A Place in My Heart

Lost Freight is a charming little coffee place operating out of a shipping container at Kunanyi, Tasmania. (”Kunanyi” is the traditional Palawa kani name for Mount Wellington.) It is situated on the site of the grand Springs Hotel which was … Continue reading

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Huh?

So that retarded racist bastard who was a senior lecturer at Ngee Ann Poly has been sacked! This comes after a video posted in early June of him making racist remarks to an interracial couple in Orchard Road went viral … Continue reading

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Today – Where is Mr Umbrage Ng Yat Chung?

Yesterday, a 16-year-old student was arrested for the murder of a 13-year-old and an axe was seized. Front page headline today. Today’s Straits Times prominently features an ad for Axe Brand medicated oil, on the same page. Where is their … Continue reading

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Apology Rescinded

I’ve known A since we were 13. Today, both 64 now, we are still in touch on a daily basis, mostly on WhatsApp. He checks on me to make sure I’m still alive, that I did not die in my … Continue reading

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