Very Rare Masterpieces for the Discerning Collector

From Ittigen-Bern, Switzerland, Martin Pauli makes Japanese-themed pipes using urushi and kokuso.

Urushi is a natural lacquer from Japan and kokuso is a mixture of urushi, clay powder, wheat flour and saw dust. Many Buddhist statues in Japanese temples are made of kokuso and they last for centuries.

These beautiful pipes are meticulously hand-made by Martin Pauli personally.

They are literally indestructible.

Martin Pauli pipes are only for the discerning collector.

Very few of these pipes are being made, therefore only a privileged few will get to own them.

These pipes are only available from DrMikePipes.

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Our Appalling Hawker Centers

Delicious and cheaply-priced food cooked immediately after you’ve placed your order, and thousands of choices. Where to find them? In food courts or food centers or coffee shops, of course!

The food centers used to be called “hawker” centers because they were originally built to house food sellers who hawked their food all over the place.

Now, there are food courts, food centers and coffee shops everywhere and the stall holders are subject to regular medical examinations and their eateries inspected for cleanliness. Some are even listed in Michelin guides.

One could have a tasty and satisfying meal for a couple of dollars at these establishments. I eat at these places a lot, as do most Singaporeans and people living here.

What I find unappetizing are two things:

  1. The state of the toilets. In Sarawak, one could literally eat off the floors of the toilets in their food courts, food centers and coffee shops, but here, the toilets are beyond appalling. When I think of one of those food handlers using these toilets and then preparing my meal, I feel nauseous.
  2. The way tables are cleaned: usually an elderly cleaner uses the same rag to wipe something like 200 tables. Imagine the state of that rag! He or she usually pushes a trolley (with a trough) around to collect used plates, cutlery and utensils. Attached to the trolley is also a bin which he/she uses to pour leftover food into. Someone should tell the cleaner NOT to stop right in front of me, and while I’m still eating, start to pour leftover food from other tables into that bin. It’s like a cocktail of smelly swill being concocted right in front of my eyes. Please, I don’t need to see that! I can only say that the visual and olfactorical assault on my senses are enough to make me stop eating.

I also notice that while all those smart people in charge are constantly reminding us to clear the table ourselves by returning our plates, cutlery, tray etc to the “tray station” it is often impossible because while I’m eating the cleaner will come and snatch the tray away with utmost enthusiasm. This despite the Return-Your-Tray initiative launched by the powers that be. You tell me, how do I return my tray when it has already been taken away from me?

Also, most cleaners have a nasty habit of making a din when they collect the used plates and bowls, etc. I wonder how many they have smashed in the process? “Collect” is hardly the word, most times they are dumped unceremoniously and noisily into the trough on the trolley.

The authorities often talk about educating the public, and launching campaigns of all kinds to do so. I believe that is important indeed because many of our behaviors are still caveman-like and primitive. You can take a man out of his kampung but you can’t take the kampung out of the man, blah, blah, blah. (Have you seen the way some people eat? It’s common to see retards spitting food fragments like bones all over, dumping used tissues into cups, bowls or plates once they’ve finished eating and all kinds of other disgusting behavior. Neanderthals behave better, to be honest.) The unpleasant truth is that most Singaporeans lack civic-consciousness though I’m quite sure in their own homes, they would not urinate and crap all over the toilet floor or not flush the toilet. My son once saw a pile of shit in a urinal. I wonder how it is physically and anatomically possible at all for someone to defecate into a urinal? Must be a gymnast or a contortionist with sphincter muscles that could no longer hold his feces.

Yes, education is important, but extremely strict enforcement may be the way to go. See someone peeing on the floor? Cut off his dick! Clean toilets will appear overnight, I guarantee you!

People in charge, do your job!

But jokes aside, hygiene and cleanliness is a collective, societal problem and is multi-faceted: it has to do with our upbringing, our culture, and what we accept as “norms.” Each of us must “own” this problem and fix it, not relying on some enforcer with a big stick. (If our own home is in a mess, we sort stuff out, not wait for someone sent by the authorities to beat us into shape, right?) And it’s really not that difficult to start. How bout beginning by mentally always be prepared to personally ensure that each of us actually do something to leave our table (yes, urinal too) clean and hygienic for the next user? This way, cleaners become “supervisors” instead of servants cleaning up after us.

Posted in Eat Drink Men Women | Comments Off on Our Appalling Hawker Centers

Ingrates Who Bite the Hand that Feeds Them

COVID-19 shutdowns have resulted in the economy tanking. Companies close and people lose their jobs.

The government doled out heaps of cash to help those affected and those who qualify received financial assistance to tie over this difficult period.

Some financially well-off people have somehow gamed the system to enjoy receiving thousands of dollars from the government – I hope this gets investigated and the culprits punished to the fullest extent of the law – yet these scammers are ungrateful and will not hesitate to fuck the government whenever they find the slightest excuse to do so. One retard I know incessantly compares Singapore to China and keeps saying that Singaporeans are idiots compared to the mainland Chinese, how Singapore is lagging behind – “in China, even the vegetable seller takes cashless payments” – and how Chinese companies are world-class innovators, etc etc ad nauseam.

I have urged the government to investigate all claims for financial assistance and ensure that those who receive all those monies are not sitting on fat bank accounts – earning interest no doubt – living in fancy condos, eating in fine-dining restaurants and ordering pricey food from gourmet groceries because I have heard enough stories about such people.

When I was in the States, I’ve seen with my own eyes, people driving up in their ginormous Cadillacs, wearing expensive fur coats to collect their welfare money.

Same thing here.

This phenomenon makes the rest of us honest, hardworking people – whose taxes we paid have contributed to the nation’s reserves, from which those ingrates now draw on – feel like fools.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

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Have You No Decency?

Yes, I’m dying. You happy now?

So, Orange Man has COVID-19.

My inbox has been inundated with forwarded memes and jokes, most are not funny, and many I deleted without even opening, and quite a few from people who should know better, including those who were former CEOs, etc.

Some of the crap sent to me even suggested that the US president’s infection is all a hoax to buy sympathy, and votes. Particularly nasty are messages wishing that Trump and his wife (who’s also down with the virus) will die.

The true measure of the type of person you are is how you react when someone you dislike falls ill, faces struggles or is beaten down by life’s travails. It is in those moments that you show the world through your reactions what you are made of.

The hate-filled responses to Trump’s COVlD-19 diagnosis expose the deeply troubling state of the hearts of many people today.

As a Singaporean, whether you are pro Democrat or pro Republican and whatever your opinion of Trump’s performance in office, he is a fellow human being who is entitled to the same compassion any of us – including you – would expect when falling ill. Death wishes and ill-conceived quips rejoicing in his illness should be abhorrent to us all. And why are you Singaporeans – non-Americans – so involved in this? Is Trump your president? What harm has he done to you? Why don’t you retards grow some balls and say something about your own president? Do you know that Trump works for free while your president gets several million bucks a year for doing fuck all, unless you consider cutting ribbons, work.

Be decent, my friend! Didn’t your parents teach you anything when you were growing up?

Shouldn’t being decent be the norm? Isn’t it just basic humanity? Loving our “enemies” – and I don’t see why Trump can be viewed as your enemy – and having common decency happen to be core values indicative of spiritually healthy people and cultures, but they are sadly values you have allowed to slip into the abyss.

I am not an exemplary Christian, but I do remember 1 Timothy 2:2:

Pray for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.

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Jailed for Honest Reviews?

Prime Minister PrayuthChan-ocha, a very handsome man.

Yes, I am aware that a negative review can be more trouble than it’s worth.

In Thailand, I could be jailed.

For the clueless, Thailand is a fucked-up kingdom in South-east Asia full of nice, gentle people. It had a king who ran a very successful brain-washing/PR exercise on his own subjects during his 70-over year reign and whose son, the present monarch, is a playboy and a degenerate who lives in Germany most of the time and who has, since ascending to the throne, changed the constitution to empower himself into controlling the entire wealth of the monarchy (about US$30 billion), the right to command his own private army and basically anything and everything to enable himself to continue indulging in his mischievous ways and his debauchery. (There’s that infamous video online of him and one of his wives – completely naked, except for a G-string – celebrating their dog’s birthday.) Thailand’s current prime minister is a fuck-face clown from the army who came into power by staging a coup to depose his democratically-elected predecessor.

Ever since the move from absolute to constitutional monarchy in 1932, Thailand has had at least 20 changes to its constitution, or on an average of once every four years. With the latest king, the monarchy is as absolute as ever, especially with the current retard of a prime minister kissing the king’s ass 24/7. Now, if you tell me that’s not fucked-up, then you have a problem.

An American named Wesley Barnes knows what problem means.

A recent visit to The Sea View Resort on Koh Chang island in Trat province of Thailand landed him with all kinds of problems after he posted an unflattering review on Tripadvisor.

According to the Tripadvisor review Barnes posted in July, he encountered “unfriendly staff” who “act like they don’t want anyone here.”

The hotel sued for defamation!

“We chose to file a complaint to serve as a deterrent, as we understood he may continue to write negative reviews week after week for the foreseeable future,” the hotel said.

Defamation laws in Thailand have long been seen as problematic, as they are frequently used by businesses and powerful people to intimidate critics.

The maximum sentence under the law is two years in prison, along with a 200,000-baht fine.

One example of how the influential can misuse the Thai defamation laws involves the Lop Buri poultry farm Thammakaset Co Ltd. A complaint filed in 2016 with the National Human Rights Commission alleged that migrant workers at the farm were forced to work up to 20 hours a day, were paid less than the minimum wage and had their identity documents confiscated.

The Department of Labor Protection and Welfare in August 2016 ordered Thammakaset to pay the workers 1.7 million baht in compensation and damages.

The retribution has been swift and incessant. Thammakaset over the past four years has filed 39 criminal and civil complaints against 22 individuals including migrant workers, journalists, human rights defenders and a media company.

In December 2019, a court in Lop Buri sentenced Suchanee Cloitre, then working for Voice TV, to two years in prison for criminal libel for a comment she tweeted about the grievances against the company.

Her conviction stemmed from her use of the words “slave labor” in a report on the compensation order.

Of course, there is another scary law in Thailand often used by people to fix their enemies: the lese-majeste law. It metes out extremely harsh punishment if you are found guilty of insulting the monarchy. Clicking “like” on a Facebook post deemed to be insulting to the royal family can get you jailed.

Whatever.

I’ve always been suspicious of Tripadvisor anyway. There is something not kosher about it. In 2014, the company was slapped with a US$600,000/- fine in Italy for fake reviews.

And in September 2018, a high-profile investigation by The Times of London found that one in three (33%) of TripAdvisor reviews are fake.

Lance Longwell, who has visited all 50 of the United States as well as 70 countries on five continents, and who is the co-founder of Travel Addicts, wrote in June this year:

“We’ve stayed at a number of hotels where we are absolutely bombarded by the hotel management to leave positive reviews for them. We had a restaurant offer to complete the Tripadvisor review for us. On our recent trip to San Francisco, California, a restaurant offered us a complimentary glass of wine for completing a Tripadvisor review.

“And one hotel in Munich, Germany went so far as to set up a computer terminal right at the front desk where if you completed the review under the watchful eye of management, you’d receive a 5% discount.”

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Avoid Wildfire Pizza

Ordering pizzas is not rocket science.

You make a phone call or go online and then the pizzas show up at your door.

Unless, you are dealing with Wildfire Pizza.

The non-existent pizzeria – there isn’t a brick and mortar eatery, it seems – claims to have an Italian-trained chef. Its pizzas are made in a handful of central kitchens.

Relying heavily on social media marketing (paid “influencers” or bloggers and parasitic freeloaders who eat free, get it?) it sells “handcrafted Italian pizzas” on pizzadelivery.com.sg

I made an order on September 26th. It was my first time dealing with Wildfire Pizza and it would be my last time.

Wildfire’s site says it delivers within an hour and the current promotion is “BUY 1 FREE 1.”

Wanting to give them enough notice, my order for one large and one medium pizza was placed in the late morning.

I then sent an email to confirm that it would be a “BUY 1 FREE 1” deal since the final receipt did not reflect that.

Note: “one for one” is de rigeur for most pizza delivery in Singapore.

No reply was received.

I then went to Wildfire’s online chat platform – which was very laggy – and their online chat rep confirmed that it would be a one for one deal. “It was automatically applied upon check out,” I was assured.

The order was for the pizzas to be delivered between 6.45pm to 7.45pm.

At about 7.50pm, still no sign of any pizza, so I went to their online chat platform again. They responded only at 8.01pm. I asked if the pizzas are on the way (yes, they are – but they would be delivered by 8.15pm); I double-checked if it’s one for one, meaning I will get four pizzas in total. It was only at that point in time that I was told, no, “BUY 1 FREE 1” means I get each pizza for “half price” and since I ordered two, only two pizzas will be delivered.

A S$10/-  “voucher” useable for my next order, was emailed to me from someone’s personal Gmail with a message saying: “Please accept our sincerest apologies for the late delivery today, please know that we take customer satisfaction seriously.”

Thanks, but no thanks!

Bad service, deceptive/misleading/confusing advertising, etc – do such businesses deserve to exist?

Aren’t the retards in F&B aware of the fact that, this year, at least 1,000 restaurants in Singapore, including Michelin-starred ones, have gone bust?

This is hardly the time for shoddy behavior in business.

I sent them an email.

Finally, received an email apology yesterday with a S$35/- voucher.

I have no intention whatsoever to use the voucher.

Who needs another unpleasant experience?

The pizza business is not rocket science, that is, if everyone is serious about doing their job right.

The damage is already done, so throwing me vouchers is pointless.

To think that I can be placated with a voucher is insulting!

I have done consulting work with many F&B clients before. The profit margins from selling pizzas are obscenely high; this causes many pizza companies to be complacent, thinking they can be tardy and/or they can jerk customers around.

Well, no sir, you ain’t gonna jerk this customer around!

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What’s Up with Some WhatsApp Users?

“I’ll be dead by the time you respond!”

Irritating WhatsApp habits abound: such as people blurting you a question asking how you are and then disappear for the rest of the day, not bothering to check their phone for your response. It’s almost like an obligatory pat of their dog on their way out of the house.

Or you painstakingly compose a message and WhatsApp it to someone only to have an emoji as a reply. Sometimes you receive a smiley or a thumbs up just seconds after you have WhatsApped the person, making you wonder if your message has actually been read at all.

However, that’s not the most annoying.

The most annoying are those who set their WhatsApp so that nobody can see when they were on it the last time or if they have read the messages people sent them, People who care about them don’t even know if they are dead or alive. (This way they are being selfish.)

That constitutes the most annoying of WhatsApp habits, concluded a recent poll.

My 90-year-old dad just armed himself with a smartphone a month or two ago and has learned how to use WhatsApp. By not hiding his activities, he enables me to check in on him on a daily basis to make sure that he has been active, meaning still alive. I mean, he’s 90, right? (Another positive outcome from my dad’s mastery of his smartphone is that through apps like WhatsApp, we are able to attain a level of heart-to-heart communication that we have never reached before. I believe our relationship has ascended to a new high.)

Yup, there is no need to be so secretive unless you need to hide your movements. (As if that’s even possible, nowadays.)

Even if I sleep late – for whatever reason and it’s none of your business anyway – and my “last seen” shows 3.30 am, I don’t mind others knowing it. Also, I reply to messages at a time that is convenient for me to reply. It doesn’t mean if some retard WhatsApps me at 3:30am, I will reply at 3:35am. This is not IBM, where some of the douche bags who work there time their emails to go out at USA time (meaning some unholy hours here) just to impress their masters in the US. I know because I was in that zoo for ten years.

There are times when I do not reply to WhatsApp messages, especially if the messages are from people who send crap, like stupid videos; hey, who the fuck needs to know that monkeys in Bulgaria can perform acrobatics, or a woman in China can stuff a whole roast bamboo rat into her piehole? Sorry, I don’t get turned on by streaming videos of retards trying to make up for their country’s years of famine. I also don’t reply to messages lambasting some non-local politician. Seriously what business is it of yours that Alexander Lukashenko is an asshole or that Kim Jong-un has hemorrhoids? Or how Trump is a “man-child”? (Everyone wants a bite of Trump’s ass these days.) Tell me some salacious scandals about our local public figures! Dig out more dirt on the diabolical Liews or the bullshitting Loh cousins and I might take a look. I also ignore quotes or passages from religious books. When you send me Bible verses, what the hell are you trying to tell me? I absolutely hate sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, self-righteous pricks !

Anyway, for those who have switched on WhatsApp to hide their “last seen” and all, do you have any reasons to hide? Do you really need to disable the the “last seen” or turn off “read receipt”?

I asked someone the reason why she has activated her “last seen” and she said “Because it’s easier to ignore someone when they can’t see you, unless you are both online at the same time. They can’t say you were online and didn’t respond.”

Clearly this person has issues.

It’s frustrating when I look at the messages I sent you on WhatsApp and not able to tell if you have read them or not. This can be prevented if I can see your “last seen.” If I see that your “last seen” is not too long ago, I can assume you are around and can WhatsApp you. If your “last seen” shows July 2017, I can assume you are probably dead. If I am not able to see your “last seen” at all, then I don’t know shit.

I know a CEO of a Fortune 500 company who has mandated that no staff of his uses the features to hide “last seen”/”read receipt” because WhatsApp is a useful tool for communications and when you use those features, you make the app rather pointless. Why call it instant messaging when you have rendered it non-instant. People might as well use a pigeon to send you a message.

If you are afraid that there will be consequences when people know when you were last on WhatsApp or when people know that their messages to you have been read, then, I suggest you enroll in a course on assertiveness instead of hiding behind a wall. (Translation: Grow a pair of balls.) Learn to push back, learn to say “no” to unreasonable requests in the nicest possible manner. Lots of people end up doing things they hate, because they don’t know how to say no. How difficult is it to say “I’m sorry, I’m unable to do this at this point in time”? There isn’t even a need to provide a reason.

And if you think you are being stalked, then make a police report. Or confront the stalker and break his nose.

And if you are afraid that money-lenders or insurance agents or freelance hookers will harass you, you can always block and report them.

By the way, when you use the settings to prevent others seeing your “last seen” or “read receipt” you are also not able yourself to see the activities of others or to know if they have read your messages.

That’s not a very smart thing to do if you have aged parents or ailing relatives living apart from you.

Unless you don’t care.

Let’s not wait until a foul smell emits from our rooms or we appear in the obituary pages before we know one of us have died.

Long story short, there’s always the phone. Phones are made for calls. If I can’t reach you, I’ll phone you.

Maybe you prefer that?

And at 3.30am, you’ll be in bed, and I’m sure to get you, right?

No, because you can switch off your phone.

If so, why carry a phone at all?

For centuries, people did fine without a cellphone.

Posted in The Good, the Bad & the Ugly | Comments Off on What’s Up with Some WhatsApp Users?

Now Everyone Is An Author

Three of the people in this picture wrote books about Trump – Newman (in the blue dress), Scaramucci (on the phone) and Lewandowski (pointing).

My ex-colleague proudly announced to me that the latest anti-Trump book he ordered has just arrived.

A new book about Trump seems to crop up each week.

Retards like Omarosa Manigault Newman, Anthony Scaramucci, Corey Lewandowski, John Bolton, James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Michael Cohen, Bob Woodward, kept what they knew close to their chests only to be “revealed” in their books, at the right time.

Other than Woodward, (yeah, yeah, he’s famous, Pulitzer and all) who’s a special kind of a douche – Trump allowed him to tape 18 interviews, and Woodward threw him under the bus (talk about lack of journalistic integrity, skirting of ethics and absence of professionalism!) – most of these “authors” (they probably use ghostwriters) once held sensitive positions in government.

Why didn’t they raise the alarm when their president was allegedly endangering the nation and the American people and the rest of the world?

No, they waited.

Then at the “right’ time, they churn out books about what a scumbag Trump was or supposedly, still is.

All for what? Fame and loyalty?

Writing to expose their scumbag president?

I think the discerning among us know who the real scumbags are in this case.

This much I know for sure: all those who write crap about Trump are secretly and madly in love with him.

Why?

Simple! He is the golden goose that keeps laying eggs!

The funny thing is, Singaporeans are lapping their books up.

Well, I guess if you don’t have balls to write the truths about our government leaders, it’s entertaining to read books written by those who think they have balls.

My friends know that as much as I respect certain aspects of Lee Kuan Yew, there isn’t a single book in my thousand-volume (at least) library that is about him.

Why?

Most are hagiographies written by ball-carriers.

I may respect, but I don’t worship.

It’s hard enough to get me to respect anyone, let alone worship.

Posted in The Reader | Comments Off on Now Everyone Is An Author

The Retards Doth Complain Too Much, Methinks

Chinatown is decked up to light up like Hong Kong, in commemoration of the Mid-autumn Festival which will occur on October 1st.

Some auspicious wordings on those banners had to be changed after complaints from some members of the public.

Among the wordings being objected to was the phrase “joy for nation.”

Another was “bright and majestic.”

Those complaining were offended by the “wrong” use of auspicious phrases.

The Straits Times said that “both phrases are not commonly used to celebrate the Mid-autumn Festival, which is a time for family reunions.”

What?!

What about Chinese New Year? Isn’t that a time for family reunions too. If so, would those phrases be more appropriate then? If they are appropriate then, why not now?

In any case, isn’t it always, always, and not only during specific times, when we should wish our nation joy and pray that it will always be bright and majestic?

By the way, this is not the first time the decorations for the Festival’s light-up have sparked controversy. Last year, organizers had to repaint a two-storey lantern with a picture of the fairy Chang’e (a mythical figure associated with the Festival) following complaints that her facial features looked too masculine.

Oh, come on!

Aren’t there more important matters than this?

A million lives have been lost to COVID-19, and the world economy has tanked and members of the offencerati quibble about phrases used for a festival and that Chang’e looked like a man?

Retards!

Cry, my beloved country!

No, weep!

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off on The Retards Doth Complain Too Much, Methinks

Do Hungry Ghosts Exist?

All juiced up – the real hungry ghosts.

Yes, they do.

A group of people who called themselves Freegans (from the words “free” and “vegans”) have been going around collecting and consuming fruit offered for worship.

They had a bountiful harvest during the Hungry Ghost Month which ended last week.

To ensure he was not offending the spirits – or the living – the founder of the group said he consulted a Taoist master, who advised him to collect offerings (usually left by the roadside) only after the candles and joss sticks have stopped burning, and to utter a word of thanks and bow as a sign of respect.

The group also went out after midnight to avoid questions from or misunderstandings with passers-by.

“My family and I have been eating oranges,” he bragged. “When we get tired of eating them, we will juice them.”

He said with a chuckle: “I am still hoping that someone will leave durians as prayer offerings.”

So who are the hungry ghosts?

Not those you can’t see!

You can get a half-baked or even fully-baked priest of any stripe to say that it’s okay to stuff your face with fruit being offered to hungry ghosts but me thinks, as a sign of respect, you should leave the offerings alone.

What next? Raiding temples and churches for the really good shit?

I’m sure you can easily find a bunch of clergymen – or women – who’ll tell you it’s okay to do so.

After all, most of these parasitic freeloaders have been eating for free since God knows when.

Just check these spongers out: Eddie Long, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Baker, Creflo Dollar, Ted Haggard, Marcus Lamb, etc.

Fully inspired, will the Freetishes (from the words “free” and “fetish”) go nuts stealing panties from clotheslines next?

Posted in Unforgiven | Comments Off on Do Hungry Ghosts Exist?